Lesbians IRL are never as good as you think they should be
The first time I met 'The cow' [names changed to protect me from being sued/pursued] was when I was at Uni and working at a petrol station, weekends, to earn a bit of extra money. she was sweet natured, cheerful and very friendly. we got on like like the proverbial house aflame.

we worked adjacent shifts, so I often took over from her, or she took over from me. as it was the weekend, we rarely saw the boss.

we had a flirty thing going on, nothing serious, but she was coming on to me and I actually liked going into work knowing she would be there to cheer up the beginning or end of my shift.

Long story short, she had only been there about a month before she started nicking goods and cash. for the next few months I was (unknowingly) under suspicion of stealing (we both were) and shortly after that she was sacked.

Now, you'll have to take my word for it, but I never stole anything from that place... not a single £1, not even a tube of smarties.
so it was quite a shock when the cows GIRLFRIEND came and started harassing me at work, to the extent that I had to phone the police to get her out of the place, it was a big shock. The Cow's GF accused me of thieving, and passing it off onto poor innocent Cow. After two weeks of threats, I had to get moved to another petrol station to avoid the cow's GF disrupting business [and scaring the shite out of me]

Lesbians IRL are evil, scary bitches
(essexfriend, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 16:01, 3 replies)

Well, not all of them
I have fond memories of a 19-year-old lesbian poppet who decided to see "how the other half live", and for some unfathomable reason chose me as the target of her hetero-curiousity. I admit that I didn't manage to "turn" her, but it was a lot of fun trying!

especially since I was 35 at the time...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 16:50, closed)

But...
Did you get the stains out of the seats of your Accord?
(Booce, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 17:14, closed)

Q: What does a lesbian bring on the second date?

A: Her furniture.

At first I thought a friend of mine had an unerring instinct to shack up with psychotic Fatal Attraction types, but no, it seems o be a pattern. Mind you I wish I could have pulled chicks as hot (perhaps without the evil scary stuff). Portia and Ellen are as realistic as Posh and Becks.
(xixax, Sun 24 Oct 2010, 2:20, closed)