A few more pen portraits
...for you, all true.

At the Toby Grill I used to help out in the kitchen sometimes, and, as others have pointed out, there was a permanent, if light-hearted war between kitchen and waiting staff. Chefs would scream at the waitresses to take food out etc. Any sort of come-back with met with a request for the waitress in question to suck their knob. Eventually, to save time and effort this was abbreviated to the chef raising his folded over apron and pointing at said organ, or just raising the apron with a bored look on their face.

We did have fun though, especially line cleaning nights. The management usually agreed to a staff social on these nights as four pints could be pulled from each tap before the cleaning fluid came through. The pints were set on the bar and it was free for all…except me, the humble bar supervisor, who was down in the cellar doing the cleaning for the first hour or so. We usually had long pool tournaments with the pockets stuffed with bar towels so we only had to pay once.

My best barman was Paul who was a joiner by day and worked Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Really nice guy and very successful pulling waitresses etc. We also had a surly regular – can’t remember his name – whose job was “slitting throats at t’abbatoir”. He once challenged Paul to an arm wrestle, it went on for about twenty minutes. He also got caught once fingering a slaggy customer under the table - hope he'd washed his hands first.

We had a very attractive barmaid for a while, called Helen. She was always attached to doormen at the various clubs in town. The only time I ever saw her blush was when an old regular commented loudly that she was “sat well back in her knickers” – lovely phrase.

By the way, what is the origin of the term ‘vinegar strokes’? Answers on a post please.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Mon 24 Jul 2006, 13:30, Reply)