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This is a question Restaurants, Kitchens and Bars... Oh my!

Many years ago, I went out with a chef. Kitchens are merely vice dens with food. You couldn't move for people bonking and snorting coke in the store room. And the things they did with the food...

My personal vice was chocolate mousse - I remember it being very calming in all the chaos around me. I think they put things in it.

Tell us your stories of working in kitchens, bars and the rest of the nightmare that is the catering trade.

(, Fri 21 Jul 2006, 9:58)
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On the National Express...
When you're life's a mess...your stomach will soon be too.
I used to take these busses regularly and some bastard invariably threw up, leaving the pleasant odour of cold vomit hanging around for the last couple of hours of the journey.
My friend told me a story which might go some way to explaining this obscene phenomenon...
She was friends with a gay guy who was a steward on one such bus. He was having it away with one of the drivers at the time, and they fucked on the bus before the passengers arrived. They were also responsible for the food preperation.
Ahem...you can see where this is going can't you...
So one day they are fresh out of lube and they look around for a substitute. The tub of stork margarine for the sarnies catches their eye...so they butter themselves up and start playing silly buggers. Yes. And then they thought it would be incredibly kinky (and apparently it was) to scrape off said butter and use it in the sarnies.
I'm so sorry, you didn't need to know that...

Heh heh.

P.S. I do apologise for the tenuous link to the proposed subject-matter, but hell, people need to know.
(, Tue 25 Jul 2006, 9:23, Reply)

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