More fun at college.
During my second year at Hawaii Loa a stupid female student decided it would be cute to walk across a frequently trafficked section of dormitory parking lot on the hoods of several parked cars, mine included. It was just a POS Omni and I didn't care about the paint getting scuffed but she slightly caved the hood in and needlessly dinged sheetmetal really steams me. I tracked down her location in the dormitories (pretty easy as there were only 150 rooms total) and proceeded to wage a low level war of annoyance against her. I started with keys liberally smeared with the slow drying, gap filling superglue, inserted into both lock cylinders of the door and then savagely twisted off to ensure no purchase whatsoever for removal. After four of these attacks her locks were replaced with unique blanks, necessitating a shift in tactics: toner bombs.

I secured one of the numerous and poorly cataloged jars of copier/laser toner from the computer supply center and created a slim envelope/baffle to slip partially beneath her door. A simple stamping on the exposed portion of the sleeve and clouds of the fine black powder filled her room. You can never get rid of all of this stuff, so people were continually getting black streaks from touching things in that room for years afterwards. The carpet was immediately replaced: her clothes took a bit longer to be completely cycled out.

The next insult was one that I had some difficulty with as I am a wee bit squeamish around them: cockroaches. I'm not talking about the tiny German variety but those monsters that occupy the tropical areas and grow to three inches in length if you give them the chance. Another membrane delivery device was constructed and filled with the scuttling mass (aiee...). After assuring myself it would be alright even if a few made it back out in my direction I snuck over to her dormitory, slipped the deposit end beneath the door and pulled the release on the far end, lightly squeezing the back section to encourage the blattidae to head in the opposite direction. To my relief nearly all of them entered her room where they promptly tried to hide in all sorts of semi-secure areas, just waiting for the first touch to send them scurrying into the open. When she returned and began discovering the artificial infestation the screams were audible across the dormitory campus.

The final insult was an inadvertent one: she and her friends ordered several pizzas from the local delivery place one Friday night and upon their arrival refused to acknowledge or pay for them, from what the delivery guy told us. We found out because as he left the dormitory we noticed the hotbags were still full and asked him what was wrong. There were a bunch of us, we were hungry, the table we were at was empty and we cut a decent deal with him, ensuring a lot of nice business for the future. As we tore into the still hot meal the same girl and her friends wandered out from their room and quickly figuring out what happened asked us to share some of the food. It gave me and my friends great pleasure to tell them to get lost.

Yes, that was her first and last semester on that college campus.
( Felis Concolor, Fri 14 May 2004, 7:46, Reply)