The Fat Controller
*** sorry about the length ***

We used to work with a fat bastard that always had his computer volume turned right up and sound effects assigned to EVERY event. We also were aware that he used our slow company internet connection to download bucketloads of very dodgy (alt.binaries.erotica.japan.loose.socks I think it was) porn.

This got really annoying, and being a programmer I decided to teach him a lesson. I wrote a trojan and installed it on his machine at work. It would listen on a port on his machine waiting for a telnet connection from me (or anyone else that knew about it) to issue commands.

At first it only messed with the volume (connect and type "setvol vol%" and I'd turn his sound down), and it also supported an update command so I could update the program remotely - this was awesome as I'd gradually lower the sound, and he'd turn his speakers up a bit, so I'd lower it again. As soon as his speakers were at max, I'd turn the volume up to max too and wait for the next sound :p

Anyway, I used to sit at my desk and snigger constantly, so I had to let the other programmers in on the secret. The program was dubbed "The Fat Controller" and it got expanded rapidly with 3 of us working on it.

Here's a list of commands in the final version :-

login (obviously a login command to stop just anyone using it)

update [filename] (updates the program with the new program - you lose your current connection)

setvol [volume %] (sets the volume to the specified level)

holdvol [volume%] (sets and holds the volume at the specified level - this uses a callback so you can't physically move the volume slider)

-basic file commands
del, copy, rename, dir, cd

munge [filename, munge%] (this overwites the specified file with munge% random data - hehehe, we used this on his porn download files)

window (showed all window titles currently open)

dump [filename] (saves a screenshot do the network)

kill [windowname] (kills the application with that window name, takes wildcards - we used this all the time to kill his newsgroup downloader program)

mouse [x, y] (moves the mouse pointer to this position - great when you phone him and keep issuing this command)

error [message] (throws up a dialog box with the specified message on it - my favorite was "warning! your are running low on dynamic handles", then follow it a few mins later with "Warning! Out of dynamic handles, please reboot" - and he did)

mci [string] (issues an MCI string on his machine, we used this to eject his cd drive, play wavs & video etc)

start [program, commandline] (used to cause all kinds of mischief, especially launching IE with some gay website while the boss was approaching).

After I left the company (in England), I found I could even mess with him from the US - hehehe.

He never found out about it, but got convinced that he had a virus, and formated his hard drive :( Game over.
(JaffaMused local in the So.Cal, Sat 15 May 2004, 7:42, Reply)