Karma, and braking for animals
When I was in sixth form, I took - and failed - my driving test twice. During this time I had a fairly psychotic instructor named Phil, who would whistle and sing Cliff Richard songs for seemingly no reason. He regularly had bouts of road rage, the worst of which was one day when he was teaching me to drive in the countryside. I was out on a straight piece of road, doing sixty, and about fifty feet in front of me a pheasant trots out into the road. There was no one behind me, and no one in front of me but the pheasant, so I emergency-stopped and it fluttered back into the verge. Yay, I thought, avoided bird death (good karma, and besides pheasants are beautiful, if dim) and having to pay for a new bumper for driving instructor. Oh no.

"WHY DID YOU STOP?"
"Dude, there was a pheasant in the road."
"SO? FLATTEN IT! EAT IT FOR DINNER!"
"You can't eat them if the body's crushed, the spleen ruptures and poisons the meat. Besides, it would have ruined your bumper."

In among all this, a girl from my year (have I mentioned her before? There was a rumour she was sleeping with her brother), who was laughing at me for not being able to pass my test, passed first time. What followed led me to ask the question "What did you say when you passed? Oh... guess it's hard to talk with your mouth full."

A couple of days after she passed her test, she took me, Stalker Boy and two visiting Chinese students into Leicester. She came to a roundabout, saw someone who was going to drive onto the same exit as we were coming out from the right (the way I was taught, the direction you give way to), and cut out in front of them, onto the dual carriageway. Where the guy stayed level with her in the inside lane, steadily yelling "stupid bitch" and "dumb blonde" and things like that at her for about three miles, while she gave him the finger and pointed at her hair as an excuse. Woo.
( Maladicta, Fri 13 Oct 2006, 15:36, Reply)