the car made out of Tizer
As a small boy I was very fond of Tizer and used to drink it all the time. On one occasion I filled my bath to the top with Tizer and wanked myself silly for about 45 minutes.

Anyway, on to the relevant side of this. I had a friend who worked for the government building tanks and robot scarecrows etc and we were in the pub one day talking about the best way to approach shagging that Lisa Riley who used to be on emmerdale. My theory was that it would be best to hit her in the back with a brick and in that split second that she's on the way down, simply jizz on her chops!

Of course my friend, being a scientist, picked this apart straight away! "are you aware of the problems with aiming? I mean, she's a big fat old bird and she'd be falling. The human body turns when it falls. Could you be sure of getting the spunk in her face? Could you? And what about the problem of timing the ejaculation? No no no Brady, you haven't thought this through!"

Devastated by this I asked him for his masterplan in a sarcastic fashion. Kind of like "oooh so whats your masterplan then???" a bit like that.

To this he responded by pulling out some blueprints he had prepared which had something to do with building a car completely out of Tizer and crashing into her, instantaneously knocking her down and drenching her with the car/Tizer. His thinking was thus, the Tizer would act as a vaginal lubricant for the huge beast as well as weighing her clothes down making it difficult to escape.

I liked his idea and we set about planning the deed. Only problem is - I like Tizer so damn much, every time he builds a prototype car, I drink the bugger!!!! Oh well eh?
(Andrew Avetoom, Sat 14 Oct 2006, 10:49, Reply)