car wash
not really road rage, more incredible stupidity, but had to be told!

my friend's dad. unbelievably bright, he's a top surgeon in cheshire, but when it comes to the ordinary things... sums him up to say that when i was about 12, i watched him unscrew the top on a "I'M NEW, I'M PLASTIC, NO NEED TO UNSCREW, JUST SQUEEZE ME" plastic ketchup bottle and tap the end as if it were glass. thereby flooding and ruining his dinner.

whilst discussing complex historical theories and having just completed a major major operation.

so one day he and my friend's brother were in the garage. mr x decides to wash the car. he gets in line, presses the button, nothing. goes to complain, comes back bright red and clutching a token. he didn't realise you had to pay. then, for some INEXPLICABLE reason, he decided to drive round and enter the WRONG END of the car wash.

naturally within minutes the car wash had mangled his car and come to a grinding flailing soapy halt. after a while, mr x turns to his son and says, "you'd better get out and tell them."

"HOW???" asks my friend's brother, reasonably enough given that the brushes were squeezing his door in. eventually he had to climb out of the window.

the not inconsiderable group of people watching this were highly amused to see a dripping wet, soapy and pinkly scrubbed boy emerge from the knackered carwash and stagger into the kiosk.

the fire brigade had to cut them out, and they sent mr x the bill for the whole lot. what a twat.

the amusing thing is, my friend's brother loves to tell this story. doesn't seem to occur to him that he was 21 years old, but never tried to stop his father from reversing into the arse end of a carwash...

watch what you drink in manchester, folks. this man could be operating on you!


EDIT: YES, BUT IF I MOVE TO BUXTON OR SOMEWHERE UNPOPULATED, THE JUMPED UP BALDING LITTLE SCROTE WILL WIN! HMMM....
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 Oct 2006, 18:27, Reply)