Commercial lorries don't tend to pick up hitchhikers.
It's generally written into their contracts that they're not allowed - understandably, as they're then responsible for you should they have a crash.

However, I did once get a lift with an HGV - an articulated lorry, who's driver offered me a lift as he saw my sign strapped to my backpack while I was at a service station.

Initially he was very chatty - too chatty. He claimed that he saw all sorts on the road - once during the summer had seen a couple of girls in an open-top sports car, who would pull up next to HGVs such as his, and the girl in the passenger seat would start openly pleasuring herself. He went into detail and it became clear that it was the lorry-driver's equivalent of QOTW - he was just writing an erotic story in his head.

What was more concerning, though, was that after his story, he started to go quiet, and then lean on the steering wheel (those wheels are bloody enormous - about the breadth of a man's shoulders).

After a few moments, he genuinely actually started nodding off. Really nodding off.

I will never be accused of being a Michael McIntyre or Lee Evans wannabe, but I have rarely been so incredibly animated about absolutely nothing in my life "SO HOW MANY GEARS DOES THIS THING HAVE THEN? WHAT'S IT LIKE WITH THE VISOR UP? HAVE YOU GOT KIDS? TELL ME ABOUT THAT CAR AGAIN?"

Few things focus the mind like keeping the driver of a three-ton truck awake as you travel at 70mph along the M1.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 11:20, 6 replies)

I'm slightly disappointed
that he wasn't wanking himself off as he recounted the tale of the frig-mobile.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 20:50, closed)

3 ton?
Where the fuck was the other 35?
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 21:32, closed)

It was a tanker carrying helium

( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Mon 18 Jul 2011, 21:56, closed)

Clicking this right here
Only thing to actually make me laugh on qotw this week...
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 23:58, closed)

has someone stolen the trailer unit?
( Tesco Quality 60.825659, -0.788337, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 0:58, closed)

Is that how much they weigh? Blummin hell!
I admit I can't claim to be an HGV expert - as you can guess that was a wild stab in the dark, concerned more with rhetorical effect than accuracy.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 11:07, closed)