Mrs Bainbridge
I guess she'd fall into the "eccentric" category...

When I were but a young slip of a lad, Mrs Bainbridge used to buy all her fruit & veg from my mum's greengrocers shop. She'd enlist me to help her carry her bags home as she was about 80 and they were too heavy for her.

While she was in the shop she'd regale everyone with stories about her exploits, which as far as I can remember included:

-winning the Paris-Dakar rally
-writing the (then) current number 1 single (she did this one often - either the current number 1 or a well-known chart song)
-writing several books which were now out of print, one of which was a best-seller in the '30s and made her several million pounds (even though she lived in a council flat in Braintree)
Despite claims 2& 3, her English was of the "this is one what I writ" variety...

Also, every week without fail we'd get about 100 yards up the road, she'd remember she'd forgotten something and send me back for it - then put all the heavy stuff in my bags so that I could barely lift them when I got back.

When I got to her flat I'd put the bags down, make my excuses and leave before she made me a cup of tea and told me lies all afternoon - she'd normally give me about 20p for my efforts... after a few weeks I started making sure I was out on a Saturday afternoon so that I didn't get roped into helping.
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 1 Oct 2012, 16:51, 4 replies)

Hahaha
"made me a cup of tea and told me lies all afternoon"

All for twenty pence!
( Jahled Three shades of black, Mon 1 Oct 2012, 17:05, closed)

And on here he doesn't even get the 20p OR the cup of tea.
RIP OFF B3TA!
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 1 Oct 2012, 18:10, closed)

To be fair
Her English seems significantly above the level necessary to write a top ten hit: cf. The last ten years.
( MatJ LOOK, Tue 2 Oct 2012, 12:17, closed)

This is true...
However I still don't believe her :)
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 2 Oct 2012, 13:40, closed)