Cumbernauld
Easily the shittest place in Central Scotland.

Built in the 50s as a Glasgow overspill, looks like it's been forgotten since then. It's full of Buckfast swilling maniacs who would mug you in a heartbeat. It wasn't voted the 2nd worse place in Britain for no reason.



The town centre is just depressing.
(Kia Ora it's 2 orangey 4 crows, it's just 4 me and my dog, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 12:11, 9 replies)

Actually
that photo makes the town centre look a lot nicer than it is!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 12:13, closed)

Damn right it does - that looks positively nice there
I have to go there once every 6 weeks for work and it depresses the fuck out of me.

The funniest part of it is when you go to the godawful nightclub there's a bloke in the bogs offering to spray you with Lidl own brand "colognes" as though it has pretensions of being some upper class spot.
(hating swallows is 20 yards from the nearest Jaffa cake, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 12:17, closed)

Is that the one that used to be called "Papa Docs"
And was almost immediately known as "Papa Tumblers"
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 4:43, closed)

You're right there
That photo does make it look less depressing than it is.

Haven't been in the nightclub, been in a couple of pubs there and the women look harder than the men.


Edit: This pic is probably a more accurate summary.


(Kia Ora it's 2 orangey 4 crows, it's just 4 me and my dog, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 12:19, closed)

It's the kind of place
That when they brought in the smoking ban they forgot that they might need to do something about the stink of the locals and maybe clean the pubs etc up a bit so they don't smell too bad. Went to one in August where, when you went for a piss the gents didn't smell bad compared to rest of the place, just "different"
(hating swallows is 20 yards from the nearest Jaffa cake, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 12:23, closed)

Lucky miss
I'm so glad I didn't get that job at Cumbernauld College now.
(camomile, Mon 2 Nov 2009, 14:18, closed)

The view from St Mungo's Church Steps
Which is right next to my (now demolished)Primary School. It's probably the only view of the town centre which shows it in a good light.
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 0:37, closed)

You know you're struggling when...
... the best advertising slogan you can come up for a town is "What's it called?"
( calgacus Non sum qualis eram bonae sub regno Cynarae, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 12:19, closed)

While I agree with the sentiments of Cumbernauld in the 21st Century
I can't help but think back to 1963 when as a spotty 4 year old I was moved from a Springburn tenement to an area of Cumbernauld called Carbrain.

The whole town was basically still under construction but, away from the building sites there were fields! Real ones! Grasses which were taller than you, pond's with Frog's, Toad's, Newt's and Deer which came to drink in them. Badgers, Foxes, Hares, Weasels, Stoat's, you name it, Cumbernauld had it. Crab Apple Orchards, Bramble Bushes, wild Rhubarb, Blackberries, Raspberries, Gooseberries, a veritable treasure trove of free and natural treats were all within walking distance.

At the bottom of the field was the railway line and a bridge which one used to stand on with the steam from the train's funnels puffing over and around you, and, to reach this bridge, in fact to reach anywhere one need never cross a road. Underpasses and bridges were everywhere and road accidents involving pedestrians were almost unheard of.

There were no gang fights, no (well at least to my knowledge) peadophiles, no hazzards for the kid's playing and as far as I know, nothing to worry one's parents except for how much mud and shit the children arrived home covered in.

As I moved out at the age of 17, the town was starting to unravel with none of the above pleasures from my past still in existence. My occasional visits to see my family (most of whom still live there)are pleasant, only insofar as family re-unions are.

What the real pity about the town is that it grew as we do. In it's youth it was a vibrant fantastic playground, as a teenager it became jaded by it's surroundings and fifty years on it has become grey and cynical.... a bit like myself I suppose.

I now live in Jakarta, along with 12-15 million other humans (depending upon which census one believes) and despite it's vitality, climate, exoticness and being so far from the reality which I grew up in, I still long for a place which remind's me of the Halcyon days of Cumbernauld in it's infancy!

Yes, Cumbernauld now may appear shit, but, it's like looking at an older person, one only see's the "here and now" never what they looked like in their prime.

Edit: I forgot this. news.bbc.co.uk/2/low/health/7584321.stm

Fourth Place.....
( fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 0:33, closed)