Norfolt in Ealing
Taken from Rockdoctor's post is a view of where i live. Stay with me it's a tad long but quite funny.

Northolt (or Norfol_ as pronounced locally. They don’t exactly omit the final ‘t’ but substitute it with a letter of their own making; a letter that makes the sound of a ‘t’ indolently dropped on a bed of fag ends,used condoms and dummies) is twinned with Hayes and the two deserve each other.

So banal a place is Northolt that there aren’t even any nearby Chav stores for them to steal from so they have to commute to Hayes for Argos, Wilkinson’s and the out of town retail park that includes Mothercare (staffed by Chavs) and the generic, cheap sports shop with it’s shelves stocked, briefly, with excellent Chav thieving ware.

Northolt does provide the occassional row of shops (’parade’ is too big a word for the derelict crud peddling outlets) for the burberry scum to hang about outside, spit and laugh at the simpering community police officers who might inadvertantly mince within a hundred metres of them, but in the main the dismal buffoons drift across the barren plains of Northolt on their way to Hayes or Greenford like (barely) human tumbleweed.

Borne on the wind like the spores of a particularly nasty fungi they drift together into the corners of the park in Down Way trying to out-spit,out-swear,out-drink and generally out-Chav each other. Or, if not there, then they can be found in Islip Manor park which is far more secluded and conducive to the joyless fucking that invariably produces more Schott loving sub humanity. They leave used condoms in their wake but what are they used for? It’s not contraception.
For a group that, presumably, choose each others company there seems to be a lot of hatred and aggression amongst them.

They regularly fight each other and the last such combat I saw was between two women; one of them had enough multi-coloured children with her to resemble a Beneton advert and the other one had a bare stomach that reminded me of an apple crumble. As they tried to tear each others hair out (impossible as they both had face-lift tight ponytails) their dull eyed brainless children looked on non-plussed by the spectacle of these revolting chain smoking, chain wearing crudlodites grappling sexlessly with each other, snot running from their in-bred noses into there bacteria harnessing dummies and down their vile little throats. The fight put me right off lesbian scenes in films.

Why do they do it? Why do they want to be clearly visible as Chavs? Have they no shame? Northolt has never been more than a large housing estate or a place for people to drive through on the A40 to be somewhere nice but the people living there used to be decent enough. Now these Chavvy scum have infected the place with their anti-social Von Dutchery to the point where it needs to be fumigated and then fumigated again, just to be sure.

I feel nothing but contempt for these parasitic, stomach churning, crisp eating, drug taking, endlessly procreating, fight starting, life negating thread worms in the gut of suburbia. Does that come across…?
(NuffMuff fucks shrubbery, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 15:51, 8 replies)

Yep.
That does it.
Nicely written.
( IHaveABadFeelingAboutThis most likely working from home on, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:16, closed)

And worse even than that
They've shut the swimarara!
(nd1001 slamdunked my funk, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 22:23, closed)

I ive right next to it
There building some big leisure centre there instead but i won't have the big slide like it used to
(NuffMuff fucks shrubbery, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 0:44, closed)

It has gone down hill a long way.
I was born in Northolt, on the Racecourse estate, and lived there for 25 years or so, and I am really disapointed the way it looks now. It used to be a little enclave of plebs surrounded by proper people in Harrow, Ruislip, Ealing, etc. Now it is a seething mass of chavdom, cut down the middle by a traffic jam that is the A312.

Where were you born?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 7:42, closed)

I was born in west ealing
Now i live in the racecourse estate. And to sum up how fantastic it is. The kid living a few doors down from me got arrested for dealing smack out of his house. Twice. and once while he was on bail.
(NuffMuff fucks shrubbery, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 9:57, closed)

I'm from just down the road in Eastcote
I used the love the Swimarama. Awesome chips.
(Martin1337 was trying and failing to be funny at, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 11:14, closed)

They can't be as good as the chips from Sam's chicken shop
the one opposite the manor house pub
(NuffMuff fucks shrubbery, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 11:30, closed)

True
I try to avoid the Manor House as much as possible, I'm more of a Black Horse man, but during the walk back from there I can't help but be drawn in by the smell of Sam and his chicken.
(Martin1337 was trying and failing to be funny at, Sun 1 Nov 2009, 18:46, closed)