If the streets of London are paved with gold...
Then in Derby it's surely vomit.

Never in my entire time on this earth have I been to a place more thoroughly depressing, miserable and have so little going for it than that cess pit.

Hardly a day went past when a walk to the city centre resulted in some semi-digested kebabmeat attaching itself to the sole of my shoe. The ring road is a joke and to make matters even worse, there's the people themselves, with their mediocre grasp of what constitutes for English language down there.

The last time I looked, the "Pacific" and being "specific" were two very different concepts... not if you're in this part of the world.

And as for that accent? - what is it? - Posh Brummy intermingled with a Yorkshire twang? It's very odd at the best of times.

Oh, and to top things off - they have an incredibly weird sense of humour.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are some nice people that are in Derby.

But I was damned if I could find them.
(libraryboy Cheer up, you could be french!, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 11:06, 5 replies)

*standing ovation*
Well said sir. A truly horrific place to visit. When I'm in charge I'm going to install a one-way force field around Derby, so that no-one who ever goes in will be able to leave, in case the rest of us catch it.

Are you from Nottingham as well then?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 11:26, closed)

I live inbetween Nottingham and Derby
Yet I'd never consider myself as being from there. I've been out there once on the piss and would never do it again. In fact, that place doesn't even register in my conscious most of the time.

Nottingham all the way.
( Terry_Tibbs Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 11:33, closed)

Beware!
You risk the wrath of Jessie!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 11:40, closed)

Um...
What exactly is 'posh brummie'?
( snee held his breath since, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 14:31, closed)

Posh Brummie....
Hard to describe, but I suppose you've got that unmistakable midlands lilt, but they don't talk as much about motorways!
(libraryboy Cheer up, you could be french!, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 12:02, closed)