Ipswich
Many moons ago, I had the misfortune to spend 7 years in this god-forsaken shithole. In the 9th century, it was one of the most important ports in Europe, then the Vikings went thro it and it's been going down hill ever since. It is populated by the most miserable, unfriendly, sour-faced downright weird bastards I have ever met. More or less every working day, I'd drop in a shop on the way to work to get breakfast to eat on the hoof. Every morning, the following exchange would take place:

(me): 'morning'
(sour-faced old bag behind the counter): '...'
(me): 'sausage sandwich please'
(sfobbtc): 'one pound fifty'
(me): 'thanks, bye'
(sfobbtc): '...'

the newspaper sellers were a sight to behold. one was a hunchback, one only had one arm, and the other was a dwarf with a cleft palate. they used to play darts in a pub which our department favoured for an after-work sharpie. First time I was taken in there, the one-armed bloke was playing the hunchback, with the guy with the cleft palate shouting out the score. It took quite a while for my new work collegues to reassure me that it wasn't actually a piece of Dadaist theatre. There was also another newspaper seller who was always stripped to the waist all year round, except when it snowed; then he'd put on a string vest.

Ipswich - 55 miles east of Cambridge. I escaped to Northampton eventually, and was dazzled by the bright lights after seven years in the Suffolk Shithole. Well, Alan Moore lives here...

First post!
(redexile, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:23, 6 replies)

Pussy!
I've survived over 8 years in Ipswich now (I believe a medal is in order). Though I have desperately been trying to escape (see my earlier post on page 17).

I'm quite sure that the Vikings improved Ipswich in some way, as surely left to it's own devices/genes, it would be a town full of cleft palate dwarves who are all cousins... ohhhh..

What I find the most funny is that they take the piss out of Norwich for inbreeding! In the incestuous closet or what?!

However, I have also had the misfortune of spending some time in Northampton. A lot less inbreds but far more.... I don't really know how to descrive N'hamps people.
(Big Smurf Brush me daddy-O, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 22:53, closed)

Ipshit and Nohopetown
8 years? Jebus.... Are you chained up in a cellar somewhere? I saw your post which inspired me to write this - couldn't believe it had only got one mention.

Northampton? Well, it's not the best town in the world, and could be a lot better, but it's close to the M1 and the A14. And it's near Corby, Kettering and Wellingborough, all of which have the sole useful function of making Northampton look good. When people ask me what Northampton's like, I usually reply 'Better than Ipswich'.
(redexile, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 23:17, closed)

Hey
Good post. Welcome.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 23:22, closed)

My poor brother lives in Ipswich
At the time of the murders I didn't pluck up the courage to drive the 15 miles there to visit him and his girlfriend. Self preservation is thicker than blood
(gspgirl Sleeping with Prince Valium, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 23:51, closed)

This
"It took quite a while for my new work collegues to reassure me that it wasn't actually a piece of Dadaist theatre."

is golden.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 9:29, closed)

Ipswich.
Went there for a wedding earlier this summer. The only taxi at the train station was festooned with "Vote BNP" stickers. Pretty much set the tone for the day.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:53, closed)