Sacked on vaious grounds..
I worked for about 4 days for a company that sold tile products, but the MD and the Office Manager (Mother and daughter) thought that it was way more important than that. I was watching over the web orders on email and taking sales calls.

We had a lunch half hour, when it was fine for everyone to eat and the phone system was switched to a "call back at 12:30pm" message. One day, I'd forgotten my lunch, so I told everyone I was popping out (no-one said a thing), walked the 200m to the greasy spoon on the estate, got a sandwich, walked back and ate my dinner on the way. Took me 15 mins max. Sat back down with 10 mins to spare.

Called into the Office Managers room, "We don't leave the premises".

"I'd forgotten my lunch, and I was back way in time!!"

"You'll just have to not forget again. What happens if someone calls??" the manager said to me.

"The phones are switched off.." I reply to be shouted at "What if its a call for me that I need you to answer!! Consider this a formal warning".

Next day, I remembered my lunch, but because my son had been up all night being sick, I hadn't shaved - 1 days growth which to me was a slight blonder colour to the face. 20 minutes into the day called into the MD's office, "Here is your written warning for incorrect attire". I asked her "Where does it say in the introduction pack or in the interview that I need to be clean shaven? - its a call centre" get told to go back to my desk. I get "sent to Coventry" by the other staff and I'm realising this is not the place for me.

So I work through the morning, taking orders for their pointless products and lunch time comes. Phones switched over, other 3 phone operators talking and ignoring me so I get out book to read for 10 minutes.

"Strump, come in here now" comes a voice.

"Do you think the company wants to portray the image of people who read at work?" - really wasn't sure how to answer this.

"You are not the material we feel will progress our company and we ask you to walk out the door and the rest of your belongings will be posted to you. You are not allowed back to your desk".

"Bollocks, my keys, phone and wallet are in there and I'm not leaving those". So I walk to my desk and one of the other office staff watches me take out my stuff, while the other two are stood, making a corridor to the entrance. The next thing I know, the on-site security have arrived and because I have been "causing trouble", they grab my arms and are ordered to walk me out the office and off the entire industrial estate.

Well, they walk me to the office door, apologise and just say "This happens about once a week - hope you work somewhere better than this next time".

TL:DR, I got fired for fuck all.
(Strump striving for imperfection since, Sun 1 Jun 2014, 18:38, 5 replies)

Sounds like so many companies I have had the misfortune to interact with.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Sun 1 Jun 2014, 19:18, closed)

TRY to interact with.
The cunts have always got the phones turned off while they're swanning off to get sandwiches and reading fucking books.
(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Sun 1 Jun 2014, 19:29, closed)

I was referring to interacting with directors and managers who are incompetent cunts, not the phone answering scum.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Sun 1 Jun 2014, 20:13, closed)

I would have fired you at the first instance,
not for fetching a sandwich, but for having the cheek to answer back.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Sun 1 Jun 2014, 19:52, closed)

Someone in that story
needed a punch in the gob.
(username failed moderation, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 16:53, closed)