Virgin are utter cunts.
"Hi! Thanks for chosing Virgin Media - your call is important to us! I've got six options for you! Wanna hear a breakdown of your bill? Hit 1! If you wanna chat about the service, it's 2! If you want to change your details, hit 3! If you want to hear what other services we provide, choose 4! If you want to be left on hold indefinitely, hit 5! If you'd like to get through to someone who can barely speak your language, and will only ever be reading prompts from options on a screen instead of listening to what you have to say and actually trying to solve your query, it's 6! You wanna talk to someone? OK! We've now got seven options for you! Want to talk to someone who thinks its something they can help with, but who won't have a clue what you're talking about? Choose 1! Need to practice at shouting your address at voice recognition software that will invariably get it wrong? Hit 2! Want to try and get through to any department at all, in the hope that you can feign idiocy, and then ask them to transfer you? It's 3! Want to change the mind-numbingly fuck-witted musak we play in the background so that we can claim to be down with the kids? Hit 4! Want to simply kill yourself? 5! Having trouble repeatedly biting your tongue, as your British reserve levels run dangerously low, and the psychopathic part of your nature bubbles to the surface? It's 6!"
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 13:20, 2 replies)

That is quite true. Takes at least 10 minutes to get a human.
Although it seems Virgin have a racist policy;

"May I be helping you pliss? God bless queen Victoria, she is very good man"

"I want to cancel my contract"

"One moment pliss"

"Hello. How can I help you today?" in a broad Yorkshire accent.
(username failed moderation, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 13:42, closed)

Don't forget...
When they ask you to enter your account in their automatic system, you then get to repeat it every time someone answers or transfers you.

I think it's just to keep you busy so you don't notice you're on hold for as long.
(anonymousreality tickled your fancy on, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 15:14, closed)

Ah, then there's the password.
Which I don't know.

Spends 10 minutes expalining how to enter it. If you don't enter anything, it explains it again. This happens twice before they give up and pass you to a person. In India.
(username failed moderation, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 16:06, closed)