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This is a question Money-saving tips

I'm broke, you're broke, we're all broke. Even the smug guy on the balcony with the croissant hasn't got two AmEx gold cards to rub together these days. Tell everybody your schemes to save cash.

(, Thu 10 Nov 2011, 18:09)
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this can go here then
avoid the constant price increases in milk by buying all you will need for the rest of the year in January.
(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 13:33, 2 replies)
Become an overweight shut-in with no social skills.
You'll save a small fortune that would have otherwise been spent on drinks of an evening, getting into clubs, entertaining girls and so on.
(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 13:31, 5 replies)
Save money on fuel by simply using public transport you seflish cunts.

(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 13:17, 16 replies)
Friends and Thieves
**Points 1 + 2 applicable mainly for students**

1. Make friends with the Student’s Union security staff. I lived with one of the Heads of Security, resulting in free entry to every night he was working – ushered in like some sort of campus VIP. Also try to find a friend on the bar, as they can help subsidise your drinks.

2. Don’t ever buy books. Go to the library, find what you need, and take it to quiet corner. In all books there should be a magnetic security strip (usually front or back page). Just peel this mother off, pop the book in your bag, and stroll out. You can build up quite a collection in this way, and you are only doing yourself a favour by making it more difficult for other students to attain your level of knowledge.

3. Take up smoking pot instead of drinking. You will struggle to get through much more than £20 before falling asleep. Also, it breeds laziness and apathy, so you will be more content with a night in entertaining yourself than spunking money up the wall on drinks in the local. If you do motivate yourself to go out, just a few drinks and you will be wasted.
(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 12:54, 3 replies)
its like the poundland of food shops.
Though eventually the novelty of potato smiles wears off.
(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 12:43, 4 replies)
Form a commune with your trendy friends
Pool all your resources, and share everything.

Much cheaper, and it means you can SMASH THE SYSTEM, too!
(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 12:41, 4 replies)
Opt for a Tom-Barbara rather than a Jerry-Margo Good Life-style
and do away with money altogether, resulting in hilarious neighbourly high-jinx, occasional friction, coveting, scrounging, recriminations, alcoholism, inevitable divorce, suicide pacts and/or murder.
(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 12:35, 4 replies)

Avoid expensive repairs to your car, insurance claims, possible funeral expenses, increased insurance costs, annoying interviews with the police and, possibly, appearing in the coroners court (either as a witness or the exhibit), by regarding every other road user as a complete cunt who's only purpose in life is to fuck up your day and make you crash.

A vehicle with high clearance that can mount the kerb without ripping off the exhaust also helps.

Case in point. Yesterday, some fuck-wit mouth-breather thought it would be a good idea to pull out from his stationary lane (where most people were queuing to get onto the freeway) into my lane - where I was doing 70 and had not a hope in hell of stopping before I hit him. I had to slam on the brakes and swerve onto the grass verge ( which is why you need high clearance ) and I actually passed him, two wheels on the grass, still braking like a bastard.

You also have to treat all pedestrians as Lemmings. They'll dart out into the traffic, with no warning, seeking some unfulfilled Lemming urge that makes them cross the road at unpredictable times. Of course - if you hit them the you weren't driving with enough care and attention. The ones I hate the most are the ones that grin at you and give your car an affectionate pat while the smoke is still spiralling skywards from your tires.

Trust me. Treat everyone who is not in car with you, as a potential cunt, and you'll save thousands over the years.

(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 12:27, 22 replies)
Spend all of your meagre savings on tattoos, fags, Sky TV and lottery tickets.
You'll be out of pocket in no time, therefore qualifying for more money.
(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 12:21, 2 replies)
Look after the pennies.
Then, when the bailiffs come because you haven't paid any of the pounds, keep them at bay by pelting them with an apocalyptic rain of pennies.
(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 12:14, 7 replies)
Art teachers!
No need to pay money for a croquis model. Instead, use a free online croquis archive such as redtube.com.
(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 12:13, Reply)
Save money - Take up smoking!
I smoke roll-ups, I can usually squeeze about thirty cigarettes from a small pack of tobacco and as I'm not a heavy smoker, this usually lasts me a week. The overall cost is under a fiver.

Possibly because my tastebuds are ruined, I can't actually tell the difference between most poor quality own brand food and the higher price branded produce. I would think that this saves me, on average, around ten quid a week because I find shit food palatable.
This equates to a saving of over £250.00!
(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 11:29, 4 replies)
Motoring costs have come up a lot here.
Buy a moped.
Cost; £100
Insurance; £15 per year (Admittedly on top of existing policy).
Road tax; £15 per year
MOT: Free (in the trade)
Petrol; around £5 per month

Ok, I don't have far to go, so it's not the answer for everybody, but I don't need (or want to use) my bigger bikes for short journeys.

All in all, bearing in mind I have to have a car for the family, and a vehicle for the rare occasions I need my own long-distance transport, this is the most cost effective way to travel. And I don't even have to sit in queues!
(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 10:54, 8 replies)
St. Andrews: If you're not spending a penny, you may end up spending a lot of Pounds...
(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 10:32, Reply)
Go veggie
It's amazing how much money you can save by not buying meat, particularly if you already try to avoid the cheap and nasty stuff produced with extra cruelty.

The downside is that your friends may think you have turned into a sanctimonious git with loose bowel movements, but the occasional bacon sammidge should put them right (on the first point at least), and will also prevent the beard-and-sandal veggies from claiming you as one of their own. Which is a win-win situation, really.
(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 10:26, 8 replies)
Convert your car to run on faeces
then you'll be happy that you have a shit car.
(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 10:08, 3 replies)
Actually do some saving with online banking.
This is for people who do have a bit of spare cash at the end of each month but can't resist spunking it up against the wall after seeing that you still have some left when you do a balance check at an ATM:

If you have online banking with a facility to set up multiple virtual accounts set up one called 'Savings' - Configure a standing order to move whatever amount you think you won't miss each month on payday and forget about it for 12 months.

Even if it's only a tenner a month after the first month you won't miss it and at the end of the period you'll have a nice little pot to spend on Heroin for Whores. Or Toys for the kids at Christmas if you must.
(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 10:05, 3 replies)
Cancel that Warcraft account now
..unless you really want to play KungFu Panda when the new expansion comes out. I mean really?!!??!??

WoW Mists of KungFu Panda

Thank fuck for Skyrim :)
(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 10:01, 3 replies)
Convert your car to run on LPG as well as petrol. If you're competent it's a DIY job for £500 - £1,000, and if you pay someone it'll come in at £1,000 - £2,000. However, it will roughly half your fuel bills, so payback is pretty fast and just keeps on going. I reckon I'm now well over £5,000 ahead.
(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:43, 8 replies)
My money saving tip:
Don't run your car on veggie oil, no matter what everyone says.

This is because it ruins your injection pump and clogs the injectors up.

Some cars are OK on it (I used to run a Vauxhall Cavalier on the stuff, and that was seemingly OK, until I noticed it losing progressively more power as the miles rolled on).

I remember hearing a few years ago that mechanical injection diesels with the Bosch injection pump are probably OK on it - but that's definitely not a hard and fast rule. Definitely don't try it in cars with common rail fuel injection as it will cause instant fuckage.

I mean seriously. Diesel: £1.40/l. New fuel system: £thousands. What's more economical here?
(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 9:01, 4 replies)
Save on bills by cancelling your phone connection.
You have no friends and you're shit at the internet.
(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 8:51, 14 replies)
Budgetting ...
When money's too tight to mention, I buy a small luxury item at the start of the pay. Something that's not essential, but you really could use, like a new shirt for example.

Leave the purchase in the carrier bag with it's docket until the next pay period. Therefore you will have earned it through canny money management.

If however, you're skint three days before pay day, you can return the item for a refund.
(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 7:54, 17 replies)
Petrol ...
Buy your petrol on Tuesday or Wednesday. It's always a lot cheaper.
(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 7:50, Reply)
Mortgage ...
Is a mortgage the measure of your death?

Make half your required monthly payment each fortnight. 26 fortnights later, you will have squeezed in an extra monthly repayment without really noticing.
(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 7:49, 3 replies)

Remove the number buttons from your keyboard. Extreme window shopping.

Seek out free condoms at the planning clinic. Free baby-proof sex.

Watch repeats on Dave instead of Sky.

Write a letter with everything you mean to say. Cheaper than a shit load of meaningless texts.

Build your own casket and save your next of kin the bill.

Use starch instead of fabric softener. We're living in hard times, so it's the fashion.
(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 6:58, Reply)
Vegetable oil.
Don't know if this has been posted yet, probably has.
Don't buy Diesel, it costs lots. Instead, find places that use a lot of cooking oil, and ask if you can have it.
Then proceed to filter it, add 10% thinner (I use petrol) and presto!
I run a 2.8 Turbo Diesel Iveco Daily on the stuff, and it's flipping great.
Slightly less economical, but hey, it's free.
Test it mixed in with your Diesel first, in small doses.

Also.. Technically, you're supposed to have paperwork to show where it's all going, and that it's not just being dumped.
(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 3:39, 9 replies)
Save money
by not being so apathetic.
Research and understand the reasons why all you average citizens who have worked hard, have not amassed a stupid credit burden and have lived within your means, are still forced to help foot the bill for something that you played no part in.

And take a brief look at where your apathy now will help shape your children's (that you're not going to have anyway, as you're too intelligent) future.


*edit* on further reading, it appears that you don't really have a right to protest anyway, so there is nothing left to do but share tips on how to make the tastiest cabbage soup.
Damn =(
(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 2:43, 7 replies)
Save money on your television license.
Make friends with the worst people you can find. Just like free reality TV!
(, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 2:07, Reply)
All that talk about your car:
Its true, regular maintainance of your car makes a massive difference. Especially if you do it yourself. the biggest differences being tyre pressures and oil. I change my filter every time i change my oil instead of every second time. Makes a big difference on economy. The price of extra oil filters may not outweigh the fuel savings initially but its a difference in the long run, making a big difference on the rest of the engine.
(, Mon 14 Nov 2011, 23:29, 2 replies)

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