So I go to the pub with my mate, and it's my round.
The barmaid has MASSIVE norks, and when she comes over I say "Alright, love - two pints of Bristols please BITTER! Two pints of BITTER, please" as I take a scowl that would curdle Simon Cowell's porridge.

I get the beers, and go over to my mate, telling him this embarrassing story.

"Don't worry" he says, "It's just a Freudian Slip - it's when you accidentally say what's on your mind, instead of what you mean. For example, this morning at breakfast with my wife, I meant to say 'Can you pass the TOAST, please?', and instead I accidentally said 'Thanks for fucking up my entire life you ugly bitch!'"
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 17:32, 8 replies)

ahhhhh hahaha fuck
I had a very nice laugh. Thanks
(kurm1s didn't exist until, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 17:41, closed)

Blimey
that joke is older than my pants
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 17:53, closed)

Worse, it's more well used than your mum.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 19:48, closed)

And older, too.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 10:12, closed)

The missing link called.
He wants his joke back.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 19:58, closed)

Don't be silly.
You can't use a telephone.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 10:12, closed)

Someone should do the joke about the incapacitated wife, where it turns out she's dead (which is a relief).
You know the one?
(Elephant Balderdash attempting to bottle the absurd, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 20:19, closed)

I thought it was an ex-wife, but she's dead now, so I got the last laugh?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 10:13, closed)