Dub Family album:
I only have a couple interesting ones, but my daughter and husband nab the gold ring.

Me- Two purple scars across the back of my left hand from a demented patient with the DTs and hepatitis. He insisted there were bats in the ceiling light. I tried to reassure him, so he hit me in the face with his manky pee bag and dug his filthy nails into my hand, peeling skin off down to the tendon. It probably wouldn't have scarred, but in my hysteria, I begged my friend to "dooooooo something, I don't want to die of hepatitis, waaaaaah!" He poured straight grain alcohol over it, permanently burning the dermal floor.

Mr. Dub- Decided to win Father of the Year and let the kids play in the van. Really, I ask you? Van slips out of gear, rolls backwards down the driveway, Mr. Dub jumps up, heroically yanks open the door and tries to pull the brake. (I'll save the kids, honey!) Momentum wins, he tries to bail but the door closes on his leg, punching a hole in his ankle plus scraping the shin all the way down and exposing the bone, then finishes off with the van running over him. By an odd coincidence, the day he gets out of the hospital he gets in a psuedomonas aeruginosa-filled hot tub. Back he goes in the hospital, sick unto death. The upshot is that the infection settled in his hip and he'll have his first hip replacement this March at the age of 47.

Daughter-Age 4: slips and catches herself by her arm, tearing the armpit open in a 6 inch shear injury. Does she ask for help? Even cry a little? No, she balls up her T shirt, shoves it in the wound to stop the bleeding and keeps playing. (I think she was a soldier in a previous life) I find it hours later and she gets 10 stitches. That scar is pretty neat and tidy.
But, age 10: She's walking along next to the chain link fence when she falls, and catches herself by her arm again. Oh ho! This time her arm is ripped open from elbow to armpit. It looks like chopped meat--muscles are hanging free, globs of fat are falling out, I can see the sheen of the bone, shreds of skin are swinging in the breeze, I almost puke.

It took around a 100 stiches, most of them internal to close and now she has a 1/2" wide, 11" long scar zigzagging all over. It would have been much worse except that I made a moleste fuss when the doc told me the FUCKING MED STUDENT would sew her up. My ass! He tried to fool me by saying "My colleague here is a fully qualified M3 and will blah bla" M3s are third year med students who have had their hands on patients all of 3 weeks at this time of the year. Bastard.

Ooh, I REALLY apologize for length. Tried to pare it down..
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Sat 5 Feb 2005, 3:28, Reply)