Thieving git upstairs
Back in my student days in a ground floor flat in Tollcross, Edinburgh I had a neighbour upstairs called Alec. A few slices short of a loaf, several teeth missing and recently out from a stretch for assaulting a police officer (in his defence the guy was plainclothes so he didn't know!).

Anyway, one day I arrive home to have my flatmate tell me that out video had been nicked. Nothing else taken and the tapes on top of it had been neatly piled on the floor, nothing else disturbed at all, very odd considering the computer and musical intruments we had. We were about to call the cops when who should knock at our door but Alec...

We explained the situation and, in a flash, Alec was out the back garden demonstrating how easy it is to break through our living room window with a credit card. On completing this task in record time he suddenly looked worried and said, "Have you called the cops yet?", to which we answered in the negative. "Just as well", says he, "I've gone and covered this window in my fingerprints.", and proceeds to wipe the frame and glass with a cloth he magically produced from his pocket. Swine. So blatant, though we never had proof (the cops said they were 99% sure he did it but they too had no proof).

To back us up, witness these later exploits: arrives at the door with a huge box full of CDs saying he'll pick them up in a couple of days; arrives with his brother-in-law late at night, proceeds to put on masks and says he might have to come back soon (shat ourselves); when we moved out and our friends moved in their N64 went missing and Alec was spotted that week selling N64 games in Niddrie.

Oh yeah, he was married to a hooker he used to frequent and his kids (3 girls, 7-12 yrs) swore and smoked more than anyone I've known, doubtless pushing prams by now.

Apologies for the reek of scum rather than length.
(pumpkinbug, Fri 26 Aug 2005, 13:41, Reply)