Bulldyke Blues
I hate my mum's neighbour, who was my neighbour up until I decided to be a grown up and fend (ish) for myself.
The BIGGEST, most wobblesome bulldyke of a woman. Seriously. Things she's annoyed me with include:

-reporting us to the RSPCA for having cats. Not giving them a reason but advising them they'd like to give us a check. She's called them more than once.
-She has a cat. Well, had. I found said puss kind of KOd at the side of the road, so I put it in a shoebox, wrapped in a towel. Went up to her house (not with cat) and asked if I could break some news to her- when asked what, I told her; asked her if she'd like the body to bury and she told me to 'keep it yourself if it's so important.' (!!)
-She got very drunk at one of her all night house parties (loud, obnoxious affairs, usually during exam periods) and pointed right into my mums face and told her she was common and that she was 'on thirty grand, not like you scum'. (My mother earns rather a shiteload of money, god bless her. And wasted no time in telling her how much, down to the last penny ).

Oh, and she used to shag many varying men. Noisily. Thin ones as well. I worried about them.

God, I hate the bitch. Thank christ she lets the house to students now. Nice students who appreciate my mum's offers of tea and a hand with their day to day stuff.

EDIT- can't believe I forgot this. If we'd particularly pissed her off recently, she used to empty her late cat's litter tray on our patio. Or throw her empty gin bottles into our bushes.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 31 Aug 2005, 12:53, Reply)