Me grandad
was happily a neighbour from hell. Everything he ever done to the neighbours either involved alcohol or a degree of physical violence.

An example of each;

Violence; me dad and grandad goes to the local pub. As they walk in, all the tables are blocked up, except for me grandad's neighbour and her friend (two batty old women) sitting quietly and keeping to themselves. Grandad walks over. "Thank you ladies, gerrup, move it" and starts pulling their chairs away. One of the ladies says "Well I never!" to which, quick as a flash me grandaddy answers "And you won't with a face like a busted arsehole, move it!".

Alcohol; me grandad used to drink and drive. Not a clever idea, Im sure everyone will agree (even though driving pissed is cool as feck). Me grandaddy had a white Voltzwagen, which he maintained ok, but drove it like a man possessed, and was stubborn as hell almost as much as he was behind the wheel as normal. So when he couldn't park in his own drive-in car space one day, he was a bit confused. Especially as he'd reversed in and slammed his car into another in his space. Some inconsiderate bastard had parked this black car there instead.. Hang about...that's not my house ...shit.
So he drives out of the space, with this black car now stuck on his bumper and dragging this other car out of the spot too onto the main road. It was at this point that it came to my grandad's attention that alot of people where running out after him and shouting alot more than you'd expect. But there again, when you're drunkedly dragging a hurse from a parked up funeral procession, you'd expect some aggro lol.

There was another fluffey violence one, which involved the neighbour's cat too. He did have a gentle side to him, which was strange considering he was normally a right cunt to everyone. He adopted a fluffeh kitten, which he looked after every day. But he noticed that this kitten was getting thinner and thinner, which worried him as he always fed the kitten religeously at the same time every day. So one morning, he placed a saucer of milk out for the kitten in the back garden, and hid inside watching. Sure enough, this tom-cat from next door strolls in, smacks teh poor kitten out of the way and starts drinking the milk for itself. Me grandad sneaks out, grabs the tom-cat and very calmly uppercuts this tom-cat into his shed door. Never had any trouble with the tom-cat again after that.

Soz for length, but me grandad was a complete arsehole too, and the world needs to know :)
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Wed 31 Aug 2005, 18:16, Reply)