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This is a question Scary Neighbours

My immediate neighbours are lovely. But the next house down from that? Crimminy biscuits - he's a 70 year old taxi driver who loves to tell me at length about the people he's put in hospital and how Soho is "run by Maltese ponces." How scary are your neighbours?

(, Thu 25 Aug 2005, 13:20)
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Scary neighbours? is it us or him?
Well, where do I start?

Well, once upon a time our street was known as “Cripple Creek”. There had been people that had been living in our street since it was first created (sometime in the mid 1960s) that have literally grown old there and shuffled off the mortal coil so to speak. A couple of dudes have had heart attacks and just generally grown old.

Over the past few years there has been a high neighbour turnover where capitalist fucks have moved from down south quick to exploit the cheaper living and general house prices. Meaning people with “not quite telephone number figure” salaries like me are forced to live at home with parents or be forced to live in desolate, shite hole flats. Where, if you go the corner shop for a bottle of milk, your precious “castle” will get turfed over by smack heads. Who can’t even get a glimpse or sniff of the “property ladder” because of capitalist fucks buying houses out needlessly and renting them out for silly money. Sorry, I digress….where was I?

Our “alleged” neighbour from hell...

Why I say allegedly is because we have this Eminem kind of dude living next door, with his Chav Spec Golf VR6 and wide drainpipe exhaust and the stereotypical gangster mates with Chav spec cars. Not forgetting the mandatory standard issue Pit Bull Terrier. Anyhow, word has it that this guy is some major wheel in drug dealing or something (so my folks told me) and is a general (in their terms) “bad egg”.

My folks are under the belief that the “suspicious glow” from one of the rooms is a “pot house” were they use solely one room with ultra bright lighting and controlled conditions to grow “herbs”, as well as foil lined for light reflectivity. And that people call at the door late at night for their “score” (their buzzwords, not mine) at strange times of the day (and flog others forms of drugs). I asked them repeatedly to back up their evidence to their claim, but they are literally too shit scared to tell me, which really does make me think THEY ARE talking out their arse, have too much spare time neighbour watching as they’re retired and got that archetypal “paranoia of the modern world" people beyond the age of 60 develop.

They have had some vague run in with them, and quibbled about a garden fence or something or other. And, think he is a twat. I don’t know I keep out of the way of neighbours and couldn’t give a shite. He is probably a nice dude. No idea!

I know one thing though, the sink was blocked, and upon unblocking the sink revealed disposed plant stems. My Dad theorised that he was mashing up spent Cannabis plants and the waste has become backed up into our sink. I couldn’t help but laugh. The more I laughed, the more pissed off he became. You can’t blame me, I mean, how fucking dumb is that??? Don’t they realise they done it THEMSELVES potting up their own plants and with their own gardening? Old people watch far too much TV and develop overly fertile imaginations.

Neighbours from hell? We probably are!! - not the “alleged uber drugs baron” next door!!

(, Fri 2 Sep 2005, 0:00, Reply)

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