That's just not cricket...
The Oval, England versus South Africa ODI, 2008.

I’d popped out of the seating area of the ground to have a crafty fag. For those of you who have never sampled the delights of the Oval, there’s an area around the outside of the seated part with bars and food carts and a place for us social lepers to congregate. It’s become popular in recent years for there to be on sale, not just warm, weak lager and slightly cheesy real ale, but Pimms and, if you’re lucky, champagne. On this occasion, there was a Veuve Clicquot tent, where you could purchase a delicious bottle of fizzy tea for a mere £55 pounds. However, you can’t take glass into the stands, so you have to buy a plastic Veuve decanter for £20, which is fully refundable at the end of the day.

While smoking and made idle chat with some other patrons, two pin-striped, floppy fringed, braying Tarquins staggered out of the champagne bar carrying their expensive carbonated grape product. They were talking VERY loudly about how they were planning to spend the whole day buying bottle upon bottle of champers and that was simply the only way to watch the game and anyone who didn’t do this was, quite frankly, a pleb. They placed the decanter on the floor, lit a cigar each…

…at which point, one of them accidentally kicked over the decanter and spilled the champagne everywhere. Which was funny. What was even funnier, however, was the other, on realising what had happened, trying to use his less than cat-like reflexes to right the decanter, stumbled and stood on it, sending it shattering into a thousand tiny plastic shards. He topped this by dropping his lit cigar onto his suit in shock, where it promptly burnt a hole in his collar.

The assembled crowd, South African and English alike, laughed until the tears ran down our legs. For a moment, despite the battle happening on the pitch we were united with a common goal, mocking stupid posh people.

Then I went and sat down and watched us give the Saffers a hearty spanking. Doesn’t get much better than that.
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 16:19, 4 replies)

You do have to agree with the poshos that that is the only way to enjoy the game
And that anyone who doesn't do that is, quite frankly, a pleb.

But what an ace, ace story. You should have asked one of them for a light.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 16:27, closed)

Oh aye
Whenever I go to Lords I always take in a couple of bottles of (cheap) fizz, it's only right and proper.

Damn, I wish I'd done that though, that would have been ace... Just lit my fag off his smouldering suit jacket.
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 16:33, closed)

Just checked the scorecard
Blimey, we really did give them a thrashing, didn't we? Sort of made up for losing the Tests.
( Sonic the Hedgetrimmer doesn't care what you think, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 17:21, closed)

Awesome
Now that is funny!
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 11:43, closed)