Seagulls
Now, I know it's wrong to laugh at the disadvantaged, but sometimes they're funny. There's a guy who lives in Bath with a massive head and a penchant to shout at cars, often in sign language. No, I didn't think you could do that either.

Getting a lift with a mate one day we get stopped at some traffic lights and notice something of a commotion to our right. Always hungry for entertainment we both look at what turns out to be local mentaller going nuts and shaking his fist at a seagull that just shat on him. Brilliant! Look at him g- hang on, what?

The seagull clearly didn't like this, as it turns round comes back and shits on him again! Hilarious! Covered! Dark clothing provides the perfect contrast to light bird shit. Mentaller does not like this one little bit, but, most probably due to being a mentaller does not seek cover. No, now, NOW he gets really angry, signing at the birds for all he's worth whilst moaning and shouting. People in other cars are starting to notice. The bird flies off to a nearby roof top where it is joined by another bird, and they both swoop the guy and crap on him, one down the front and one down the back. Some hits his head. I am crying, and in danger of having a hernia, or at the very least give birth to a brown mirth-turtle. My mate is the same when we both notice the traffic lights changing, shit, we will be robbed of an ending!

Cars slow, and lights change. It's not us! Yay! It's the other line, and look here comes a police car! Mentalist is going (pardon the pun) absolutely spastic, and bird count is now up to three as the police car turns right and drives towards the incident. Mentalist notices them and appeals, arms open wide to the police. They, clearly are crying with laughter too as is pretty much every other person in a car and drive past, slowly. Mentaller is COVERED in crap but holding his ground while the world around changes colour from so many people laughing so hard they cannot draw breath. The birds are joined by a fourth and the shit fest continues, the lights change and we hold our place in the road, wanting to know what the hell can make this worse/funnier but we have to move, and drive off round the corner leving behind what has to be one of the funniest things I have ever, or will ever see in my life.

Why did the birds pick on him? I have no idea, I could see no young around which would normally trigger them off but I will never forget this, neither will the other dozen or so people that saw this either I guess.

Length? Could happily have stayed for more.
( Jimbuktu See? Right here, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 19:06, 3 replies)

Not Precisely Misfortune, So Not Precisely Schadenfreude, But It Made Me Laugh Anyway!
One winter's day I was walking along a ditchbank and a flock of small black birds swooped by. They must not have liked the look of me, because they circled around, flew past again, and all shit in unison.

The ground was peppered as if hit by machine gun fire.

And they all missed!
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 21:16, closed)

How true.
Arse to it, my other stories will actually contain schadenfreude, this was too funny not to post once I'd remembered it again. :)
( Jimbuktu See? Right here, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 22:57, closed)

It isn't lucky
I'd call it misfortune.

And hilarious. Clicks!
( Dervel OTBC, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 16:14, closed)