My sister, an axe and a visit to A&E
My sister is a little bit clueless when it comes to most things to be honest and personal preservation is not a strong suit.

I was home from university for Christmas and was at the top of my parents garden splitting logs for the fire with an axe that I'd just sharpened for that purpose. Nicola wandered up for a chat and to catch up as we hadn't seen each other for a few months but kept on looking longingly at the axe. I could see the question forming in her head and after five minutes or so she pipes up with "Can I have a go?"

Now I have to point out that although at the time of this story, my sister was 18 years old but still wasn't allowed near the axe normally for fear that she would hurt herself being the cliché blonde clutz that she was (and still is). "You have got to be joking" says I, "you'll end up chopping off a toe or something equally painful and it will be my fault for giving you the axe."

Cue ten minutes of "Aww, please, I'll be really careful, honest!" So against my better judgement, I cave in and say that she can have ONE go and no more as long as she does it exactly as I have shown her .

Bugger me if she doesn't do it perfectly in the first swing; an nice clean even split. But before I have even had time to draw breath she starts asking for another go. Impressed with her first attempt but more relieved that we were both intact I let her have a second go. Which was a mistake.

For those of you who haven't split logs with an axe, if you don't hit the log square on and the axe head is at an angle it often doesn't bite into the wood and will bounce back. If at the same time you aren't gripping the handle firmly, the axe will swivel in your hands.

Funnily enough this is what happened to my sister on her second swing after completely ignoring everything I had just taught her not two minutes before.

The result? The sharp side of the axe in her forehead. Her first words after putting the axe into her forehead? "Are my sunglasses alright?" referring to the sunglasses she had pushed up on top of her head out of the way so she could see the log better.

What did I do? Nearly wet myself laughing at her as the blood gushed out.

Luckily it was only a glancing blow but still needed stitches and we definitely don't let her near the axe any more.
(Angio can smell your fear just by looking at you., Fri 18 Dec 2009, 12:04, Reply)