I shouldn't even laugh...
Last year i spent a week in hospital after having an operation on my jaw, in which a piece of bone was removed from my face after suffering from an abscess of agonising delivery.

As you can imagine, life in the throat and mouth ward wasn't very nice as most nights i drifted off to fevered sleep to the sounds of dying old men, or cancer wracked patients and to put it bluntly, it was the least amusing place in the world.

One poor bloke (two beds away) was obviously in a large amount of distress and kept trying to get out of bed and remove the tubes from his throat and arms and his penis (which i imagine was some form of bladder replacement or something?) and usually the nurses would firmly make sure he stayed in bed and then he'd argue with the nurses and wake up everyone else on the ward.

Now this happened every night, and at first i really felt genuinely sorry for the poor old bugger but on the last night, i wanted nothing more than to sleep and was getting quite annoyed at his childish attitude to the nurses and could hear him struggling to climb out of bed.

Alas, i can never quite tell you exactly what happened but i heard a nurse shout the infamous words 'If you try and get out of bed, the balloon will come out of your penis and you will NOT like it!'

Followed by three or four seconds of persistent mumbling and then a very loud yelping sound....

and then

'I told you so!'

I had to hide my face under the covers and snigger into my pillow for about an hour afterwards.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Thu 24 Dec 2009, 2:06, 3 replies)

The penis tube is called a catheter
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catheter

My Mrs is a Dr and apparently they're worse to put in on lads than on lasses as they need to get shoved a very long way down.
(pseudomonkey is not a real monkey., Thu 24 Dec 2009, 6:12, closed)

They're a lot easy to insert than on ladies as there's no rummaging around to find the right hole, as it were.
They do go further though.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 24 Dec 2009, 8:06, closed)

yipes
no really, yipes
( spingers, Thu 24 Dec 2009, 14:44, closed)