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This is a question School Assemblies

Our school assemblies were often presided over by the local vicar, who once warned us of the dreadful dangers of mixing with "Rods and Mockers". One of the cool teachers laughed. Tell us about mad headteachers and assemblies gone wrong.

Inspired by the mighty @Rhodri on Twitter

(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 12:43)
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Loosely related pearoast - look, it happened in the assembly hall, OK?
One Christmas at school, we were to have a fete, the centrepiece of which would be a Santa's Grotto in the assembly hall. Our usually scary headmaster would dress up as St. Nick, and various younger siblings etc could be taken in to visit him.

The grotto was a large chicken-wire and paper mache affair, built on the stage usually occupied by the teachers, and us fifth-years were given the task of constructing it. One lunchtime, as we were about to apply the final layer of pasty newspaper to the inside of the grotto, one bright lad realised that the sack of newspapers we'd been given included quite a few copies of The Sun... and so, inevitably, when Santa entered the grotto for the first time, he found that the entire inner surface had been papered with Page 3 tits. It was a thing of beauty, almost hypnotic, with bulging mams literally filling your vision wherever you looked. Like a peek into Peter Stringfellow's mind.

Unfortunately we were forced to paint over it before the tinies arrived.
(, Fri 14 Jun 2013, 12:00, Reply)

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