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This is a question School Assemblies

Our school assemblies were often presided over by the local vicar, who once warned us of the dreadful dangers of mixing with "Rods and Mockers". One of the cool teachers laughed. Tell us about mad headteachers and assemblies gone wrong.

Inspired by the mighty @Rhodri on Twitter

(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 12:43)
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Flying Trophies
It all started when Martin dropped a pencil case down between the staircase windows onto the double door side entry chamber. The stairs ran above the chamber onto the main balcony which housed the headmasters office etc. We thought of climbing up onto the roof of the internal chamber to reach said article. But as Martin looked across from the balcony he said "Hold this", handed over a bag and jumped onto the school trophy cabinet (situated high up on the wall between the balcony & chamber) and with a run and another spirited jump landed onto the side entrance chamber roof to regain the item. Not wanting to miss a trick and agape at the stunt he had already pulled I told my friends to do as I did. Martin by now was instructing on how we should grab him once he had leapt off the trophy cabinet toward the balcony. Onto the cabinet he jumped - "creak" went the cabinet and he readied for the next jump to rejoin us. With that I started swearing at Martin telling him to fuck-off and shook my fist at him, so did my friends leaving him in no doubt he was not to return that way
Another "creak" eminated from the over stressed cabinet and with a yawn it parted company from the wall. Martin was hurled to the ground, a drop of 12 feet and the cabinet crashed to the floor with a dreadful din of splintered wood, broken glass and rattling silverware. He lay there until we yelled for him to run for it and with a limp and badly ripped trousers he did and we escaped the scene. Weekly assembly arrived and still not apprehended we entered to find the headmaster going about the topic with such anger and promise of retribution that we were glad not to be sitting together or mirth would have overcome us. The sports instructors gave the class some odd looks as well due to the larger trophies being quite out of shape because of the violence.
(, Fri 14 Jun 2013, 20:35, closed)

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