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This is a question School Assemblies

Our school assemblies were often presided over by the local vicar, who once warned us of the dreadful dangers of mixing with "Rods and Mockers". One of the cool teachers laughed. Tell us about mad headteachers and assemblies gone wrong.

Inspired by the mighty @Rhodri on Twitter

(, Thu 13 Jun 2013, 12:43)
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Mr White
The deputy head of our comp was Mr White, a massive stickler for the rules and old-School black gown wearing monster. Assembly was his deal. He had been waiting for old Mr Rhodes to die so he could be Head, but the old codger just wasn't obliging, so he was given the School assemblies.

We all feared for his close friends and family as whenever we were given a talking to about the dangers of modern living he invariably knew someone who had fallen foul of each particular devilment we were being warned about.

The railway lines were being (slowly) electrified on the intercity line between that london and the norf. Mr White's brother in law just so happened to have met a charry end by introducing his carbon fibre fishing rod to an overhead electrical wire outside a train station.

On the subject of alcohol abuse, Mr White's niece once got her pony a little bit tipsy by soaking her carrots in babysham.

Another time, as the rozzers were giving us a talk about the dangers of drugs, Mr white's wife's second cousin's daughter was killed in a tragic case of self-immolation from a fucked-up homebrew meth pot.

When the local animal park visited, Mr White's neighbour's uncle was eviscerated and torn to bits by babboons in Woburn Safari. They even bent his car aerial.

I could go on, as could Mr White, to varying levels of (un)believability, but I'll just stop.
(, Mon 17 Jun 2013, 13:00, Reply)

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