Fashion not Passion
Time is of the essence, so no flowery story telling I'm afraid.

1. Play football

2. Hack down much bigger, stronger kid than I.

3. Get half heartedly punched in face as response.

4. Reacted badly "I'm going to fucking kick the shit out of you after school"

5. Playground hear. Everyone is told of fight.

6. Remember that I'm not hard and that I'm going to get killed in front of the whole school.

Fast forward to 'after school'

7. Desperately think of ways I can defeat my enemy on way to Alleyway of death.

8. Foe offers me a way out in front of goading schoolmates, says we should shake hands and not go through with this charade. FOOL.

9. Decline offer from untrustworthy kid to hold my new bag and coat whilst I fight (looking back, an error and a half)

9. See opportunity, feint to shake hand, then lunge forward and headbutt him in the face. Sending his spiralling into bush and onto ground. A dirty shot, but effective it appears.

10. YESSSSSSS I thinks. He gets up. NOOOOOO

11. He starts to hit me, lots. I go down, new bag gets tangled around legs. Cue lots of wriggling around in a puddle on the floor trying to get back on my feet - in my (looking back, horrendous) yellow Helly Hanson puffa jacket I must look like some kind of squirming giant yellow maggot.

12. He kicks me into submission as I can't regain feet.

13. Go Home, mum tells me off for ruining jacket and new bag.

14. Next day, everyone tells me it was the worst fight they've ever seen.

12 years ago - and the last fight I think I'll hopefully ever have.
(Pat_Gash, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:50, 1 reply)

No's 1 -7 for me were the same for me
but the so-called hardman didn't turn up.

I thought he'd chickened out and that I was somehow, however unlikely it was, the new school tough guy.

Soon found out that he'd been arrested at lunchtime for panning in some windows. The next day he proceeded to try and bring me closer to god in his own way.
(Harold's hip man!!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 14:05, closed)