The Greaze
I went to Westminster, which is a funny kind of school - a weird mix of public school poshness and central London 'cool'. I say cool - obviously not, but still, you couldn't go about in top hats speaking like a plum in central London, you'd get beaten to a pulp. So upper-class shabby was the look to aim for.

Like all old schools, there are lots of odd traditions there, but the weirdest of all is a thing called the Greaze, which happens on Shrove Tuesday. The head chef makes a big pancake (extra-strong, and apparently fortified with horse-hair) which he brings to the main hall ('School') and tosses over a special cast-iron bar. Then a selected group of students make a leap for it, and there's a massive scrum for two minutes, at the end of which whoever has the most is the winner. The Dean of Westminster Abbey traditionally attends, and the school gets given a day off.

I was selected one year to take part, and decided to try a secret weapon: I ate four raw cloves of garlic before the event. The plan was to breathe on people to get past them. It was completely useless - I found the best technique towards the end, which was to climb up onto the scrum and stand on people, which sunk me down the the middle, but it was a bit too late by then.

I stank of garlic for about a fortnight after that. It was hideous - I couldn't get rid of it. I kept brushing my teeth, showering, bathing, drinking milk, it was hopeless. I was like a leper - my roommate was not happy at all, especially as he had a new girlfriend at the time.

Admittedly, he did carve her name onto an orange and chuck it at her shouting 'bitch' shortly afterwards, so I'm not sure it was ever likely to go well.
( flatfrog Staring vacantly into space, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 13:07, 2 replies)

Did you
play winkies?
(LickOutTheJamsMotherfuckers!, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 18:28, closed)

I simply have no idea what the fuck you mean
Winkies?


Winkies?
( flatfrog Staring vacantly into space, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 23:15, closed)