the amazing mr Gordon
he was a maths teacher. he sued to wear this incredible eyesore of a tweed suit, it was kinda yellowy-greeny-beige. he wore this daily. i mean daily, we soaked that fucker's back in fountain pen splashes and not ONCE did they get washed out. the underside of the sleeves was shiny.

this man, was categorically NOT cut out for working with kids. he was impatient, unhelpful, borderline stupid, and a social leper even among other teachers.

one time, the illustrious from these very boards got kicked out of class because he'd copied my homework and got a lower mark than me. when he asked the reason for the same results being marked differently, the reply was 'if you hand it in late why should i mark it correctly?' to which the reply 'because you're paid to sir' (nice...) sent him into a towering fury so great he nearly lost an eye in all the spluttering.
the fact that phil, after being sent outside, spent the remainder of the lesson kicking fuck inot the metal lockers and the door did NOT help.

another time, being a number-tard as i am, i was struggling with algebra. after saying i didn't undertsand, three times, to which the response was to get closer to my ear and repeat the same explanation with added spittle and dog-breath, he finally exploded 'for god's SAKE boy!! a trained MONKEY could do this!!!'

i replied 'perhaps you should have me work it out in bananas then!' which, predictably, threw him into a fit of the mentals like you never did see as a whole class of kids pissed themselves with laughter.

i still have nightmares about the way that as his writing progrssed futher along the width of the board, rather than walk alongside like a normal human, he would go inot this preposterous lunge, meaning his sentences got more straggly and drooped down at the ends.



wherever he is now, he's making a child miserable, whether it's be being a shit teacher, or something involving homemade dungeons.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 16:35, 2 replies)

Hahahaha the LUNGES!!!
You missed the bit where after my kicking the door all lesson he dragged me off to Mr Oddie and he told him what I said and Oddies responce was "You are paid to"

Fucking awesome! I was always in trouble in maths. Remember when I told Mark Martin to fuck his mother so he punched me so I threw his table at him.

Oooooo and the really hot Maths teacher we used to flirt with all the time. Everytime she would try and bollock us we would start telling her how beautiful she was until she would blush so much she sent us away hahaha.
( Peej, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:42, closed)

I clicked for this bit:
"after saying i didn't undertsand, three times, to which the response was to get closer to my ear and repeat the same explanation with added spittle and dog-breath, he finally exploded 'for god's SAKE boy!! a trained MONKEY could do this!!!'"

I still don't understand how people who are apparently trained teachers can't grasp the concept that maybe they need to reword the explanation? It was French class for me when I found out that "I'm stupid, not deaf." is not the right answer.
(xanthine, Sun 1 Feb 2009, 1:36, closed)