How I was put in prison by my PE teacher...

Picture the scene...

A softball game.

A beautiful summer's day.

The grass has just been cut and the bumblebees are flitting about determindly.

Some people are playing tennis in the courts nearby, the sound of the balls being swatted adds a certain restful cadance to the glorious, lazy sun drenched day.

And on the softball field a team from the east side of town plays a team from the west...

A small crowd of parents and general passers-by mull about the edges of the field, watching the boys do battle in the sunshine.

Its such a beautiful day.

(I think its best if I tell this one from the perspective of two of the parents watching from the sideline).


Parent 1: "What's that boy doing way over there?"

Parent 2: "Where?... Oh, WAAAYYYY over there..."

Parent 1: "He doesn't seem to bothered about the game." - With a slight chuckle, I imagine.

Parent 2: "He's up to something... Look..."

Parent 1: "I can just about make... something... out..." - Squinting against the sun.

Parent 1: "Yes, yes, you're right... He looks as if he's in pain... I wonder if he's alright.."

A long pause...

Parent 2: "Oh, sweet Jesus!!! He's MASTURBATING!!!"

...Mr Butcher, my PE teacher, actually locked me in the minibus for an hour until the game finished.

The fat bearded bastard...

Still, at least I had some privacy to finish myself off properly... and someone had left a copy of Smash Hits on one of the seats, so I knocked one out looking at photos of Kyle Minougues arse in a ra ra skirt...
( SpankyHanky, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 17:11, 2 replies)

Hahahahha
Another wanking story? That beats the last one! Well, nearly. You should have your own competition, 'wanking stories from childhood' You would be uniquely placed to judge them.
*doffs cap*
( Jimbuktu See? Right here, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 18:53, closed)

Kylie's arse is well worth peeling 1000 bananas over.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 22:32, closed)