Mr Aberwaldy
There's always one, and this one was a bald ogre with sweat stains, foul breath and a penchant for blackboard boners. He was old-school, and thought nothing of lobbing a wooden board-rubber at a talkative lass on the back row, or lashing a metre-rule into the throat of a distracted pupil.

Well, this one time, he was worse than usual on account of his beloved Morris Minor being pushed into a canal. He was telling us about the Ganges or something when he noticed that Robert Uurine on the back row was staring out of the window with an apathetic air.

Quick as a flash, Aberwaldy unholstered a a Colt 'Magnum' .45 and aimed it at Robert. A collective scream went up, but it was too late: the barrel flamed and the kids head was blown clean off, right through the window and through the basketball hoop in the yard. Blood sprayed madly in a Jackson Pollock up the window.

God, how we laughed! Brought up on a diet of The A-Team, we had no conception that being beheaded by a bullet might actually be fatal! It was 20 mins before Mr Aberwaldy could calm us down, and even then it was only by putting the barrel in his own mouth and blowing the top of his head off in a geyser of blood and brains.

Well, I laughed so much that I shat out my pancreas and had to be hospitalised for a month.

Happy days!
(frankspencer, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 11:17, 2 replies)

Frank, you liar
The Magnum is a Smith and Wesson.
(frankspencer, Mon 2 Feb 2009, 13:08, closed)

...and only comes as a .357 or a .44
Apols.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 2 Feb 2009, 13:38, closed)