Chess swat escapes assembly
In primary school I was something of a whizz at chess. As you can imagine, I was a real hit with the ladies.

I was our school's number 1 player, and once beat a rival school's number 1 in just 4 moves. That was a bloody long afternoon, as we had to sit in silence while the other players played out their matches.

Anyway, onwards towards my point. Our chess teacher was a really nice guy - too nice for teaching in fact, as he was jacking it all in to train to be a Church of Scotland minister.

By sheer coincidence, on his last day as a teacher there was a school assembly. These were interminably dull affairs with much sitting cross-legged on a hard floor and singing the most pointless songs imaginable for hours on end.

Imagine my delight when my chess teacher asked my class teacher if I could be excused from assembly so that he could play me one final game? Needless to say, he hammered me in the customary fashion, but it was worth it to get out of the snoozefest of an assembly.

Many many years later, I bumped into him. He's now a fully-fledged minister. He remembered me and we chatted about old times. It turns out that he couldn't stand assemblies either, hence his brainwave for getting us both out of it. What a smashing bloke.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 3 Feb 2009, 11:46, 1 reply)

Presumably
...your username is in his honour? :)
(slotbadger, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 14:31, closed)