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This is a question School Days

"The best years of our lives," somebody lied. Tell us the funniest thing that ever happened at school.

(, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 12:19)
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Freak bites back with atomic toilet
I could begin by trying to describe what it feels like to be very, very badly bullied.

The way I walked was funny, the way I spoke was funny, the way I crossed my legs was funny, the bag I carried was funny, the way I ate a sausage roll was funny.
I was funny-looking.

And the bitches just laughed and laughed at me. Every day. For seven years.

This one goes out to all the B3tans who don’t need to be told what that's like. If you are nodding and getting a sick, sad feeling inside – in the place where you would keep your happy memories, if you had any – then this revenge story is for you.

A core pod of bully-girls, the ones who humiliate you for the amusement of the rest of your school, always contains one key character : the one who is smarter than her gibbering goon-friends. She hates you (or not, I mean, lets face it, you are just lower in the food-chain). This is the person that your mammy tries to tell you is just jealous because you are so pretty and clever. Yeah right, ma. She comes up with the taunts that her peroxide lackeys hurl at you.

Can you fly without your broomstick, Goth?

It’s never *her* that pours a can of fanta into your bag; but she’s right there watching when it starts to soak through. Let’s call her Emma. You know why.

In my final year I had a massive nervous breakdown and ended up in a mental hospital for a while, following a suicide attempt. I am informed in retrospect that some of my year were very sorry indeed.

Who would of thought she’d try to top herself?
I mean, she always thought of something clever to shout back at us, right?

I sat my A levels in a private room for my own safety.

At the end of the year Emma threw a massive party. Whole year invited. Her family was so rich she had her own little studio flat and party room in the grounds of their mansion. It was going to be a big night. I was phoned by some of the kinder girls, written to by the head-girl. Would I please come? They wanted to see if I was OK.

I went. Oh hell I went. I thought I’d be able to have a nice night with some of the solid, kindly types, the prefects, those that would never have stuck fanny-pads to my back but couldn’t let me sit with them in school anyway. I was just too dark, too angry, too fecking cynical.

The party was awful, just awful. Anyone read Carrie?

The bullies were drunk and they tore me to shreds. Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Was the loony-bin like prison? Did you have to lez up? Bet you liked that, yeah? I heard they sectioned you because you ate your own shit? Give her a plastic cup, you can’t trust the crazies with real glass. Go home, bitch.

I got my coat.

In the hall toilet, not crying. Just too tired for any more.

My gaze fell on the bottle of bubble bath sitting on the sill. Barely thinking, barely breathing, I shifted the lid of the toilet cistern and tipped the whole lot in.

I was half way down the drive-way when the screaming started, but I heard all the details from survivors in the following days. Drunken bitches go to the toilet *in groups* Oh thank-you Jesus.

It was apocalyptic.

Within ten minutes the whole of the downstairs was filled to shoulder height with piss flavoured foam.


And, unbelievably, they never worked out who did it. Loads of drunks, gate-crashers and pranksters to choose from, see? And I’d already gone home.

So that, my dear, dear friends, is how to get your own back. Drown the bullies in fluffy sewage at the biggest party of their young lives. The shock, the panic, the wails of horror. The sliding in it, the wet, straggled hair. Mascara running down sticky cheeks as the fire brigade screech up out of the night.

I felt much, much better.
(, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 19:00, 6 replies)
Thankyou for sharing.

Your mechanism of revenge is an inspiration; I only wished I'd heard it sooner.
(, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 19:42, closed)
I went through
pretty much exactly the same thing, although my response was to hit them. Hard. If only I was crafty enough to exact a more clever means of revenge...

Have a 'click' anyways, and a hug :)
(, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 19:57, closed)

Sometimes revenge is best served through the medium of other people's bodily fluids.

Such a shame as you had to put up with so much bullying. It's diabolical, especially as you start to blame yourself after a while.

Still, karma usually dictates that the bullies get their just desserts. the guys who bullied me ended up working in Macdonalds. I had to be escorted from the premises when I saw them there, I couldn't stop laughing.

Hope all is going well for you these days.
(, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 20:08, closed)

...is fucking great!!!

Drown the fuckers in foamy piss... the belong in the sewer anyway...
(, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 21:34, closed)
Excellent just desserts
Click. Sympathy.
(, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 22:48, closed)
I was going to give it a click just for the title alone...
...but reading such a well-told story makes me wish I could click twice.

I'm glad you managed to take revenge on those horrid bitches.
(, Wed 4 Feb 2009, 0:26, closed)

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