Lassie Come Home
Like every unfortunate Yorkshire child of the 80's, one of our school trips consisted of us getting in a coach and travelling no more than 20 miles to the local pit (you know, so we can see where all our families used to work before Thatcher made them all poor and bitter).

We have fun, going down the pit, having a look around the coal museum (again, I am from Yorkshire..) and playing on the swings. Time to go home, and we all pile on the coach. Sensible Teacher counts all the heads..30 children. We set off.

Half way home an almighty racket ensues! There is a dog on the bus! Dog gets let off at park, a few kids are bollocked, one cries, the usual. We set off.

When we get back our parents are waiting to meet us, for it is 3.30 and working past this time is unthinkable. We are all greeted by our parents..apart from Mr and Mrs Cosgrove who are (slightly frantically) searching for little Simon, a ginger kid who was good at the piano. 'Everyone was on the coach when we left the colliery' says Sensible Teacher. Until she is called into the school by the headteacher, with the parents. Oh dear. What has happened to poor Simon!?

Turns out Simon was in the pit gift shop buying an oversized pencil when the coach left. How did Sensible Teacher count all 30 heads..yes, it is shamefully so.

She counted a fucking DOG as a kid. A DOG!

Fuck screening for paedophiles and murderers. There should be a tick box option for anyone applying for a job in a school. A picture of a kid with the caption 'what is this'? If she writes 'DOG' then burn her CV!!
(Northern Lovely, Thu 7 Dec 2006, 16:09, Reply)