This ought to go in Near Death Experiences
Because I had two in one day. Well, what do you do on camps, eh? You go on bush walks and you canoe. Now, some bright spark in the teaching staff decided that there could be no better way to spend a day than to hike to a nearby beach, have lunch there and then canoe back. And to make it even better, they were going to let us kids read the map! Oh, boy.

Deciphering the map was actually quite fun, and I maintain that we didn't get lost until AFTER I relinquished it to a group of boys that took a few minutes to figure out which way to turn it. At any rate, we ended up trecking over boulders along a path that could only be called that because you could sort of see through the bushes. Which, by the way, were extremely prickly and constantly got in our faces. We were taking turns carrying these four huuuge backpacks, which felt like they had iron ore in them but actually it was just our lunch... which the teachers insisted we were not allowed to eat until we reached our destination...

Eventually we sighted water, and walked down a slope so steep that I dropped my water bottle into a tree until we reached a road. There was, in fact, a beach, which upon further examination turned out to be the WRONG beach, so we walked STILL FURTHER along the road to the right one. There we collapsed and ate totally inadequate sandwiches with cucumbers in them, nervously eyeing the canoes.

How right we were to do so. You see, it was perfectly fine while we were in the bay. But to get back to the main beach at the camp, we actually had to row through a bit of water that would be easier to classify as "open sea" in that it had a strong current and a horizon. This turned out to be a little too much for a bunch of twelve-year-olds fresh from the Hike of Deth and sitting ankle-deep in freezing water (which we had nothing to bail out with except, and I kid you not, SOCKS. We'd soak them and then ring them out over the side, a futile endeavor if ever there was one).

One of the teachers ended up radioing for help, which arrived in the form of a large flat boat into which we gratefully climbed and attached our canoes to the sides.

Apologies for length, but the day was longer.
(Lieutenant Colonel Oblivious brought to you by intravenous sugar, Fri 8 Dec 2006, 6:57, Reply)