Apeshit
Condensed (yes, even more long-winded) from the entry at www.stevedix.de/blog/305

Our school once decided to take us all to Twycross Zoo, home of tea-recommending chimps and TV-watching gorillas. (no, really).

On this trip was someone who shall be known as "Charlie". Charlie was the school psychopath. Charlie was so mental that even the hard kids avoided him.

We arrived at Twycross and were herded round the cages, which seemed to be full of shit and little else. This bored Charlie, who disappeared. We were sent to find him, before he mauled a lion or something.

I discovered him just in time to see the horror unfold. Charlie had discovered a chimp that had been isolated from the others in a wire cage. The chimp blew raspberries at everyone. Charlie, on discovering this, blew raspberries back.

The chimp spat at him.

Charlie spat back.

The chimp then calmly stuck his hand underneath his arse, and filled his hand with his own shit. Charlie was too busy laughing to mimic that, which was an unfortunate mistake, as it left his mouth wide open.

None of the shit really missed him, which was incredible, considering it had passed through a wire-link cage.

When we got back to the coach, the teacher sniffed suspiciously. "What's that on Charlie?" she asked.

Bingo.

"It's chimp-shit, miss".

First post, apologies for enormous cock. er.
( Stevedix http://www.stevedix.de/blog, Tue 12 Dec 2006, 12:13, Reply)