When you know you’re right, but have to shut up.
I work in remote locations, on large resource projects. From time to time it is necessary to enter private property (think sheep stations, 1,000’s of acres of dust) and undertake our site engineering duties.

In the normal run of things, the landowner has been consulted beforehand, we drive onto the property, whack a few pegs into the ground and leave. All cool.

It is the usual protocol to carry a “permission slip” from the client which establishes that everything has been negotiated, and we are supposed to be there, should anyone pull us up and question us.

So, about 6 months ago, I was onsite, checked into the site office in the morning to find out today’s job, and was handed the daily brief from the client’s Project Manager. I noticed the property we were expected to enter was owned by a rather infamous feisty landowner, not renowed for his kindly views on trespassers.

I questioned the client (God forbid)... did we have authority to enter the land? Had it all been sorted?

“Yeah yeah, it’s all sweet, don’t worry about it, just get the fucking job done. No paperwork’s been prepared ‘cos it’s all rush rush. Just get going will ya”.

Umm, yeah, righto.

So, with some trepidation, we drove down the track, through the gate and found the area we were supposed to set out.

And well yes, surprise surprise , just as we set up the equipment and are setting out the pegs for the engineers to build something amazing, a small angry truck bumps across the dusty paddock towards us, with a small angry red-faced man at the wheel.

He leaps out and starts to yell small angry expletives. I wait a few minutes for the pressure to abate, and call the Project Manager. I hand the phone to the landowner to talk with him. The Project Manager insists we put the phone on speaker, then proceeds to berate me with small angry expletives, within full earshot of the landowner. “How fucking stupid am I, why am I on the wrong property? etc etc.”

What. The. Fuck?

Thanks for backing us up prick! I could barely talk for rage, but didn’t want to lose it and upset the landowner. Not his fault my client’s Project Manager is a fokking prick.

The upshot is, I pack up quickly, apologise to the landowner get orf his laaand and return to the site office, ready to club the client to death with a sledgehammer.

The client is completely unperturbed...”Yeah mate, had to do it, otherwise we’d never be allowed back. Had to make us look good didn’t I, fucked if I'm owning up to that one?“

Yeah, well it’s not your fucking logo emblazoned all over the truck is it? He’ll be on the phone to his neighbours, telling all the locals to watch out for the arrogant arseholes that go onto your land without permission.

Nowadays I don’t go anywhere without a permission slip in triplicate, and the Project Manager was sacked not long after for pulling a similar stunt on the neighbouring property. I think the local farmers pretty soon worked out it was a lazy method of gaining entry to their property.

We still work for the same client, reputation unfairly tattered, but we deal with a much more organised Project Manager who bothers to call the landowners first.

It still rankles that someone so well paid could be so blatantly flippant about ruining someone’s reputation to save face, not to mention his own firm’s reputation.
( Ken Oath, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 13:53, 14 replies)

Every time they send you off without the paperwork
you should just go to the pub for a couple of pints, then go back and say the landowner wouldn't let you in.

Every. Single. Time.
(username failed moderation, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 15:24, closed)

Wish I'd thought of that option.
Would have been far more relaxing.
( Ken Oath, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 15:32, closed)

Is it Star Wars?

( Ghoti Fingers, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 18:02, closed)

No, sorry, an actual real life event.
They sometimes occur, if you venture outside the confines of your house.
( Ken Oath, Mon 6 Aug 2012, 22:49, closed)

How horrible.
Why would anyone want to go outside?
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 1:38, closed)

Ken next time you're headed west give us a shout.
I'm sure you could catch a later flight and head out for some shits-and-giggles.
Pretty sure I could rope BeatsWork into a pub sesh as well.

Gaz it up mofo!
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 7 Aug 2012, 9:23, closed)

you can attempt to have sex with him outside of your marriage, he might be on okcupid as well

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 11:59, closed)

Oh look
here it is again.

Go tell a qotw response about it.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 7 Aug 2012, 12:52, closed)

ok
cupid
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 13:23, closed)

Roma is about as far West as I go.
If there is a decent job near Perth, I'll catch up.
( Ken Oath, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:22, closed)

Furry muff.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 8 Aug 2012, 0:11, closed)

I'd almost love a job like that for the birdwatching.
Only managed a few inland trips in FNQ and SA so far.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Tue 7 Aug 2012, 12:53, closed)

Dusk in Western Qld is great.
There is a lot of birdlife that we take for granted in Australia.

Tonight, I've arrived onsite, was having my habiual coffee and ciggie admiring the dusk, when a huge flock of sulpher crested cockatoos wheeled around and alighted in a big Gum Tree, all making the raucous noises that Australian birds do. Must have been 100 birds.

As we walk through the paddocks, the Rail (Quail??) burst from under your feet, literally, they wait in hiding until the last second and burst from cover with enormous noise. Scares the fuck out of you.

But the most impressive is the huge eagles that feed off the road kill (squashed kangaroos and the like). They are natural carrion feeders, and they are absolutely huge. I have crested a rise on a bush track and come across 5 huge eagles feasting on a dead kangaroo. They have a massive wingspan, and only just get airborne to avoid the truck. I'd not want to mix with one, the claws look like they'd rip your face off.

And once, out towards Birdsville (ha ha) I saw a huge black cloud of wild Budgies, they are about 1/3rd the size of fat domestic Budgies, and fly around in their 1,000's. It looks like a mobile thundercloud.

The weirdest creature was a Plains Turkey (Bustard). They puff our their throat when threatend, and aren't afraid of anyone. I was working near an Aboriginal community a couple of years ago, and they speared one, cooked it on the fire for me to try. It was like Turkey in taste. Kept some in the lunchbox for the long drive the next day. I pulled up at a bore to get a drink, and there was a big sign saying they were a rare bird. Mine was pretty well cooked, I thought.
( Ken Oath, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 14:21, closed)

I once worked at a mine in the the great sandy desert where there were a lot of birds after the rains in jan/feb
then we built a big lake full of cyanide for the heap leach, and for a few months there were a lot of dead birds, then not so many. And a few months after that the enviro inspecter came out and said everything was fine. the cyanide lake wasn't having an impact on the birdlife. it couldn't because most of it was already dead
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 7 Aug 2012, 22:02, closed)