Virgin sexxx
When I was but a young lad my first serious girlfriend and I decided one summer's day that we should both lose our virginity by doing the deed in the local fields. We found a bit of a dip in the middle of one field that was like a lovely sunny nest and divested ourselves of our netherwear.

I would like to think that it was the massive manly girth of my John Thomas which seemed to make it impossible but in retrospect it was more likely because she was a bit nervous and rather dry. For what seemed like hours I manfully attempted to get it in there with no success. So inexperienced (and sore) were we by then that my girlfriend actually asked 'have we done it yet?' The answer to that question came from one of the four blokes standing at the edge of the hollow behind us - 'Fraid not love. Do you want us to show him how?'

That was even more embarrassing than the fact that his alsatian was excitedly sniffing my arse.
(fergus the bogeyman Beware of geeks bearing gifs!, Sat 21 Mar 2015, 12:39, 5 replies)

Hahaha

( Harpago ¯\(°_o)/¯, Sat 21 Mar 2015, 13:17, closed)

Zing!
*click*
(McChinaman banned, Sat 21 Mar 2015, 18:00, closed)

*click*

(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Sun 22 Mar 2015, 3:14, closed)

I'm not sure what the opposite of a mod is, but I'm pretty sure that makes you one.

(Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Sun 22 Mar 2015, 19:39, closed)

So,
You let the Alsatian have a go.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Mon 23 Mar 2015, 0:30, closed)