I firmly believe that the average woman shouldn't be allowed to play pool.
Good female pool players I don't have a problem with. If you can take me on and beat me more than 50% of the time you are a good pool player, and will be the shining secret weapon in any pub pool team, 'cos, everyone knows girls can't play pool and the instant something with a bosom strings three pots together the average man goes all to pieces.
No, my problem lies with the average female pool player. And by "average" I meant "shit". Get two of them on the pool table at once and you're in for half an hour of painful spectating, and shots that you wouldn't see at a David Blunkett/Stevie Wonder charity match.
Miscues, deliberate fouls, sneaking in extra shots because their opponent was looking the other way, cue balls being chipped off the table, balls being grabbed and forced into pockets (oo-er) and more screeching and banshee wailing than in 5 minutes of The X Factor. The game goes on forever and a tiny bit of your soul withers and flakes away into the abyss.
Put one of the same girls on the table with you, however, and suddenly God pays attention. The balls that leap from the table somehow land back on it, the miscues still make contact and the balls that fly around the table like tiny diarrhetic hamsters trying to find a clean bit of bedding to shit into STILL GO IN THE FUCKING HOLES!
And still the giggling and screeching continues! They don't pay attention to the game, standing in the corner watching MTV with the cue still between the thumb and forefinger of their left hand because it's too difficult to locate their left hand again when they take it off the cue, and then they kick your ass with the luckiest shots since whoever-it-was hid behind the grassy knoll whilst maintaining an air of I-intended-this superiority that makes me want to scream my bowels up.
Ladies: if you can't play pool, don't play it with a man you love, because when you inevitably beat him he'll lose a tiny bit of masculinity, and when it's all gone he'll be a bigger girl than you.
He'll still play pool better than you though.
He just won't look as good in a dress.
Yes. I have issues.
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Sun 27 Dec 2009, 14:12, 6 replies)

I can't click this enough! I can't play pool and don't pretend to. Just like to add the girls that act out the "leaning seductively over the pool table, wiggling their bums and stroking the pool cue" thing.

Ugh.
(becky_bubbles, Sun 27 Dec 2009, 15:07, closed)

If a woman tries to distract you with such antics.
Simply make a point of enjoying the view rather pointedly, and straight faced.
They always get embarrased and give up before I do.
(Sundayturkey has the biggest mug of tea, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 1:44, closed)

And you get a bonus eyeful! Nice :)
I'm pretty sure it's not me they're trying to distract though. Now give me a guy that can dance around a pool cue... and maybe I'll be even worse at pool.
(becky_bubbles, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 21:31, closed)

damn people having fun IN A PUB.
If you want to play seruious pool, sod off to a pool hall. Pub pool is fair game for every style of player, inlcuding the shit ones.
( Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 11:59, closed)

Haha! Don't worry, I wasn't having a serious bitch.
It does genuinely mystify me though. It's kinda like if I started winning at poker tournaments. I can't play poker to save my life, so if I sat down with champions and beat them I hope people would start to question why.
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 17:39, closed)

This is true
I adamantly maintain that my boobs get in the way of the cue
( useful_idiot, Fri 1 Jan 2010, 17:30, closed)