Make your own pocket pussy!
Ok so what you want is an empty bottle of coke, a knife, some lube, the inside of a pillow and a condom (maybe a lighter too)

Now don’t feel scared by some of these items it will make sense.

So cut the bottom of the bottle and then use the lighter to ensure that there is no sharp edges that you could injure yourself on (make it nice and smooth).

Take a chunk of pillow inside (roughly same width as the bottle and long enough to wrap up tight in the bottle.

Put the condom in the pillow inside at one edge with the nubby bit at the end hanging out over the end (quite important this!) and unroll it so the condom opening is hanging off the other end.

Roll up the pillow fluff with the condom inside and stuff it into the bottle nub bit towards the cap. When you have it in (fnar fnar) pull the nub out through the top of the bottle and replace the lid screwing it onto the nub effectively holding it in place.

Now you can pull the open end of the condom over the outside of the bottle (this is where the smooth edges become handy as if it was sharp it would just rip it)

Now drop a few drops of lube in and work a passage using your finger.

Insert penis and there you have your very own “pocket pussy”.

Replace condom after every use!
(Samantha Bricks Better half done a poo on, Thu 17 May 2012, 14:25, 9 replies)

Ingenious
Have you been spending time at Her Maj's pleasure?
(harrypitta friends with the chilli saucerer, Thu 17 May 2012, 14:30, closed)

No not yet
But being Irish I needed something other than sheep for when it was raining
(Samantha Bricks Better half done a poo on, Thu 17 May 2012, 14:31, closed)

am i the only one who read the title and then wondered how this was going to come together to make a cock?

( lucosade is counting down the minutes until, Thu 17 May 2012, 14:40, closed)

hmmmm
good point!

To edit I must go
(Samantha Bricks Better half done a poo on, Thu 17 May 2012, 14:41, closed)

I think that all things considered....
...I'd rather just have sex with a woman.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 17 May 2012, 15:32, closed)

it's a controversial idea.
It'll never catch on over here.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:51, closed)

Damn,
I just spent $35 on a FleshLight
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Thu 17 May 2012, 15:46, closed)

If
it was from an American website return it and say it was to small.
(Samantha Bricks Better half done a poo on, Fri 18 May 2012, 8:23, closed)

Haha. brings a new meaning to the words, Blue Peter
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 17 May 2012, 17:44, closed)

More interesting than...
...making a fucking Advent crown out of coat hangers
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Thu 17 May 2012, 18:34, closed)

Pictures nice 'Aunty' Val...
...making one; then demonstrating its use on John...
.
.
...and Shep.
(minimalist ..., Fri 18 May 2012, 11:10, closed)