"I'll have what she's having"
Last wedding anniversary, in a busy restaurant, my wife said she had a present for me. I was a bit surprised, as we'd agreed not to do presents. Unwrapping the small package, I found a remote control, with buttons for mode and speed...

Naturally I made sure to change mode / speed etc whenever she was talking to the waiter!
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 23 May 2012, 11:14, 13 replies)

Last time I got tossed off in a restaurant,
the management had me barred. I don't know if this is apalling sexism, or if I just need to find a better class of restaurant.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 23 May 2012, 11:20, closed)

i had a wank at a starbucks

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 23 May 2012, 11:27, closed)

So THAT'S how they get so frothy

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 23 May 2012, 11:33, closed)

Lies.
You were the waiter.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 23 May 2012, 11:33, closed)

They're extremely noisy on the fastest setting though.
It would have been a very busy restaurant, or I need to know where you shop.
( Bats, Wed 23 May 2012, 12:11, closed)

I wouldn't say extremely noisy, but certainly audible at times
Partly drowned out by the ecstatic moaning and thrashing around, of course*

* may be a lie
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 23 May 2012, 12:23, closed)

Ermm
perhaps they are quieter in, ummmm, a "smaller enclosure". Just sayin'...
(Rsoles, Wed 23 May 2012, 13:43, closed)

Yeah, those echoes are a bitch
itch, itch, itch...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:51, closed)

A friend bought a remote control love egg for his girlfriend one christmas.
He passed the controller around a bit in the pub, which was fun, especially when she was talking to his parents.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Wed 23 May 2012, 13:03, closed)

Worth a look for the impromptu cartoons
b3ta.com/questions/confess/post841467
(username failed moderation, Wed 23 May 2012, 13:12, closed)

Those cartoons
are still the best thing about this part of b3ta.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:58, closed)

That's the first time I've seen 'em...

Fucking hell they.are.brilliant!

Thanks for the linky
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Wed 23 May 2012, 16:26, closed)

I'd forgotten all about that.
poor friz and his massive face. I miss friz :(
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 24 May 2012, 7:44, closed)