Nightclub Launderette
My most shameful moment is as follows...

It was my mate's 18th birthday so I agreed to go out to town for a 'few' drinks. Obviously, a few turned into many and upon being told that a certain nightclub was selling all bottles for £1...I agreed to make it a night.

I soon learned that 'all' bottles actually meant 'vk iron brew' and after a few of these beastly drinks I was feeling a bit worse for wear on the dancefloor. However I fought on, until my stomach finally rejected the vile liquid and I promptly vomited all over my shirt.

Amazingly, I did manage to make it to a toilet cubicle without anyone noticing, not even the toilet attendant due to my effective secret agent skills. There I sat on the bog for 10 minutes in my puke-soaked shirt while holding the toilet door closed (the lock was broken).

I reasoned that as soon as I returned to the club, I would be ejected from the venue for looking a state so I did the only thing available to me at the time. I washed my shirt in the toilet.

Try to imagine it, there I am stood on one leg while holding the door closed with the other, naked above the waist while washing my shirt in the toilet water. Toilet water is shit (no pun intended) by the way and it took me at least an hour to clean it, even when I made use of the flush. But clean it I did. The fact that people had been pissing and shitting in it all night didn't worry me at all.

When it was clean, I figured the attendant would be suspicious if I used the hand dryer, so I just put the soaking wet shirt back on and cooly wandered back out to the dancefloor. My mates hadn't even noticed I had left, bastards, and everyone just assumed I was really sweaty from dancing.

Ahhh, but my tale does not end here. While walking home at the end of the night I smiled to myself, satisfied that I had got away with my earlier shirt-washing. Suddenly, some coppers pulled over, claiming that I appeared to be trying to evade them (wtf?). So, I was quickly questioned (which involved me reading my details off my driving license since I couldn't remember my date of birth or where I lived).

The lady copper decided to frisk me and upon wiping her hands over my shirt she enquired as to why I was soaking wet?

"Foam Party" I quickly replied, which was a brilliant answer come to think of it. She figured I was no threat and sent me on my way never knowing that she had just wiped her hands in Cardiff's finest toilet water, haha (the fact I wore the shirt all night means nothing to me).

Hahahahahha

Sorry, I mean...I'm so ashamed :(





:D
( Regger, Sat 26 Nov 2005, 23:23, Reply)