I have a couple which put me to shame, although the people
on the receiving end think it's hilarious. I do feel some guilt when I think about these, as they are totally wrong things to say, but hey, if the people involved don't mind........

My best friend lost her mum 6 years ago, and her dad and stepmum 3 years ago. Last year, her uncle died and all that's left in the family is her and her brother (and her husband and kid). In February this year, after a visit to the doctor, she was diagnosed with cancer (at the time, they gave her 2 months to live). I get the first phone call, and what do I say?
"Thank fuck I'm not a member of your family!"
Although it still makes me feel guilty saying that, she insists that she still giggles about it to this day.

Shameful thing #2. I have a friend who is black, gay and in a wheelchair (seriously!). First time I met him, I asked what he did for a living (he's a partner in a law firm). What comes out of my mouth? "Fuck, if you had AIDS on top of that you'd be president!". Fortunately he found it hilarious, and that was what cemented our friendship. Now when we're out in public, he'll have me call him my little black crippled slave when he thinks we can shock someone!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 27 Nov 2005, 4:08, Reply)