Crohns disease
U.C's Ugly twin sister. Loverly (not)

All of the above symptoms.

There was a sufferers forum that had a thread "You know you've got CD when..."

Which had such gallows humour as:

"You grab handfuls of McD's napkins 'Just in Case' so you don't run out of arse roll in dodgy public toilets"
"You can spot a public toilet from 1000yards"
"The Police call investigating a domestic, because a neighbour has heard screams from the bathroom"

Been there seen it done it.
Thankfully only 5 times a day. But I'm having a good patch
(Sir Tainley Barking Ezekiel 23:20, Fri 28 Mar 2008, 22:11, Reply)