what's my name?
guess what i was suffering from when i joined up...

anyway, when my youngest was about six weeks old he was a little constipated. after half an hour of straining and going beetroot, i changed his nappy to find it empty. on closer inspection i found he had a lump of poo stuck halfway out of his bumhole. with a little manipulation i helped him get unstuck. have you seen a sausage machine in operation? well, that's what it resembled...only i had to catch a greenish-brown sausage in the nappy, and coiled it up like the world's grossest walnut whip. stretched out it must have been nearly a foot long.
he then let out a huge sigh and fell asleep.
(polished turd 404 pixels wide, Fri 28 Mar 2008, 22:40, 2 replies)

Awwwww.
One to tell his first girlfriend, there :)
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Sat 29 Mar 2008, 3:53, closed)

Exploding infant
When my daughter was tiny, I remember one magnificent crap she took: She was screaming her head off and emitting noxious fumes, so noxious I pulled her nappy cuff aside. And looked in.

Most of it went into the nappy, but the rest...my face has never been as clean before or since.

Length? Try blast radius.
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Sat 29 Mar 2008, 21:04, closed)