*sigh*
I had a testicular torsion in September. I felt awful (didn't know it at the time, thought I was ill). Went for a bath, but I felt really weak. As the water was running I sat down on my mum's cushioned seat. I thought releasing a fart would do me some good, I could feel one brewing. I farted. 30 seconds later I wonder why my bum is itchy, and put my finger down to check.

"How odd!" I thought, "my finger is wet." and (I must have been delirious because of the pain I was feeling) thought nothing of it until I went to pick my nose. "Good GOD!" I shouted and lept up, making me double over in pain as my twisted nut decided to communicate its concern at my sudden appliance of gravity. Imagine someone gripping one of your balls and attempting to pull out your kidney with it. I lay in the foetal position for 30 seconds, slowly got up and looked at the white pillow on the chair. Oh dear.
It almost looked like someone had spilled coffee on it. But I knew the truth. I could only ashamedly call for my mother and explain.

I then went to hospital and they only cut a little piece off. Hooray! I was lucky, I waited four days and that usually means at least one bollock is a writeoff. Guys, if your balls hurt and swell up, don't put going to the hospital off!

length? Unimportant when your balls are the size of coconuts. Would make for great teabagging.
( morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Sat 29 Mar 2008, 0:38, Reply)